Almost Hidden

It was a crisp Autumn afternoon and Elli Mac was sitting on the oak wood bench in Sherwood Park. She has been coming here since she was a little girl, and she always chose the aged bench that sat right below a grand Redwood tree. The trunk was so thick that, when she was little, she imagined she and her sister could carve a cozy home in the middle and secretly live inside.

Bundled up in her warm red coat with her plaid scarf tightly hugging her neck, Elli watched the array of people wandering around the park: families with small children happily picnicking on the green grass, people with dogs smiling as they pass each other by, old couples walking hand in hand as they silently enjoy each other’s company. Elli treasured this part of her day. She liked to pretend that her life was as calm and complete as the strangers in the park.

As Elli was contemplating what life must feel like to be so free, she felt the presence of a woman beside her. Elli briefly glanced to her left and smiled at the woman. The woman, in her beautiful jewel green skirt suit with a matching fedora, looked at Elli intensely and then slightly raised her lips into a forced smile. She radiated luxury and class, and even though the glance they shared was brief, the woman made Elli feel exposed.

Directing her attention back to her happy place, Elli focused on the candor of the strangers in front of her. A little blonde-haired girl with grass-stained knees was running and chasing birds in the distance. Elli loved how happy the girl seemed, the laughter in her hair, and the innocence on her face. Elli thought about how many years it would take before that girl would feel like she does.

Without meaning to, Elli’s eyes began to well up. To stop tears from trickling down her face, she forced herself to glance upward, toward the busy branches of the Redwood tree. A single leaf detached itself from its clutter and slowly floated its way down toward Elli. Elli watched as this tiny yellow leaf swirled itself away from all it knew, losing all control. It reminded her of a less poetic version of the scene from Forest Gump where the feather drifts through the air with serenity. This leaf wasn’t like that feather. The leaf was falling, just like she was. Just as it was about to hit the ground, a calculated gust of wind dusted it onto the side of the bench where, just moments ago, the woman was sitting.

Elli watched as the leaf landed on top of a little black book. Elli looked around to try and catch the attention of the fancy woman as the book she left behind seemed important. She picked up the notebook and admired its smooth and hard cover. It reminded her of the one her sister used to have before she passed away. Her sister was full of light and was inspired by the smallest of instances. She would constantly illustrate her experiences through the delicate use of words inside of her sacred notebook.

Elli removed the elastic enclosure to see if the woman’s name was written inside. Maybe Elli could return the little black book as she knew how valuable such an item could be to an individual. She flipped through the first couple of pages and found that the section which read “In Case of Loss” was left unscathed. Feeling as though she was betraying someone’s privacy, she reluctantly skimmed through the journal. The entire book seemed empty except for one excerpt that was almost lost in the middle of its blank pages.

“Speak what you seek until you see what you say.” Was neatly handwritten along the 11th line of the 11th page.

Thinking that this quote sounded curiously bohemian, Elli closed the little black book and tossed it into her purse. She would look through it properly later in another attempt to find the woman who had left it behind.

It was starting to get dark, which was a good indication that it was time for Elli to leave the park and walk back to reality.

“I’m so hungry. I wish I could afford a greasy taco from Benny’s.” Elli thought to herself as she passed the long line of eagerly waiting taco-lovers standing beside Burrito Benny’s food truck.

Benny was a friend of Elli’s family and his homemade tacos were packed with mouth-watering ingredients and perfectly spiced with love. The last time Elli had one was when her sister’s oncologist surprised them each with a Burrito Benny’s taco special just days before her sister passed. Elli craved the taste of refried beans, sour cream, and happiness. She closed her eyes as she walked past the truck. Knowing that Benny would probably give her a taco if she just asked, she refused. Elli hated feeling like she couldn’t take care of herself. With closed eyes, Elli took a large breath inward and let the smell of melted cheese soak her insides. Allowing herself only a brief moment to bask in the memory of her sister, she opened her sad eyes. That’s when she saw it waving at her from under her shoe. How long had this 20-dollar bill been stuck to her? Where did it come from?

Ecstatic, Elli unstuck her meal ticket from her shoe and joined the strangers in line. When it was her turn, Elli ignored Benny’s questions about how she was doing and ordered two of Burrito Benny’s famous taco specials. Even though 20 dollars didn’t seem like much to most, to Elli it was the dinner she didn’t think she would eat tonight. She felt grateful and so she gifted one burrito to the man in the queue behind her. Elli flashed a half-smile to subtly acknowledge the man as she unwrapped her dinner and enjoyed it on her walk home.

Elli lived in a one-bedroom industrial-style apartment. Her floors were dark concrete, and her walls were made of rust-colored brick. It was a trendy apartment, except Elli could never bring herself to fully furnish it. She missed the two-bedroom condo that she shared with her sister downtown. That condo was inviting with its white walls and large windows. It was bright, airy, and comfortable, just like her sister was. Her current apartment was dark, cold, and lonely just like Elli.

Elli recklessly kicked off her shoes and threw her purse on the floor. Still intrigued by the little black book she had found and the woman who had left it, Elli decided to flip through it once more.

Again, Elli read, “Speak what you seek until you see what you say.” She repeated the words in her mind over and over again, trying to understand exactly what they meant. Frustrated that there were no other clues leading her to the mystery woman, Elli grew bored of the book. She turned on her outdated television and flipped through the channels, landing on a mediocre sitcom. In the show, a frazzled lady, by chance, miraculously met a kind-hearted businessman and ended up getting the job offer of a lifetime.

“Wouldn’t that be nice?” Elli thought to herself. “I would love to randomly meet the right person and just tumble into the career I’ve always dreamed of.”

Elli has always wanted to be a professional painter. Her dream was to fill a gallery with canvases of portraits she blended with oils. Elli often painted candid images of the strangers she saw at Sherwood Park. She enjoyed paying tribute to their facial expressions, and always picked the happiest or loneliest personalities to paint. Although she lacked furniture, her apartment was far from empty. Beautiful pictures filled her 550-square foot home, but painting does not pay the bills. This was just a hobby for Elli. Her real job consisted of sorting mail for an accounting firm. It was tedious and Elli hated it.

It is unknown when Elli fell asleep, but the sitcom had long since ended. A knock on the door woke her from her nap, and with tired eyes and messy hair, Elli opened the door. It was the man from Burrito Benny’s food truck. The man explained that he was a friend of Benny’s and that he really wanted to thank Elli for her small gesture of kindness. He further explained that his morning had been awful. He is a curator at the Sherwood Gallery, and during the early hours of the day, the artist who he planned to pay $20,000 and feature in the upcoming months had pulled out. Emotion poured out of every word as he told Elli how his job is on the line and that he had been feeling completely helpless. Until Elli had bought him a taco, that is. Her gesture ignited a conversation with Benny in which the curator learned that Elli was an extremely talented artist. The curator, needing to see for himself, obtained Elli’s address from Benny and boldly showed up at her apartment.

Because Elli trusted Benny, she let the man into her unfulfilled home. The curator silently examined the plethora of canvases spewed around Elli’s apartment, and he became emotional. He thought about how flawlessly Elli had captured the characters who he had also seen wandering around Sherwood Park. He recognized an elderly fellow who frequently walked his dog alone through the tree-filled pathways. The curator appreciated the sadness that was perfectly portrayed in the elderly man’s eyes, for even though his mouth was painted into a smile, the curator knew he had recently lost his wife.

Without hesitation, the curator grabbed Elli’s hands in his own and asked her the question she had been yearning to hear.

“May I buy your art?”

Unsure of what was happening, emotions bubbled out of Elli as well. They stood there holding hands and silently sobbing for a short moment. Both Elli and the curator fully appreciated this moment and felt extremely grateful for this random encounter. With the $20,000 budget unaccounted for and a need for a new gallery headliner, the curator offered the feature position to Elli.

“I truly feel as though we were both in the right place at the right time. It’s funny how the world works, isn’t it?” The curator gleamed as he waved goodbye and left Elli standing alone in her apartment.

Elli fixated on what the man had just said. “It’s almost as if we were both in the right place at the right time.” What a wonderful coincidence she thought. Just like the woman in the sitcom, Elli stumbled into the career of her dreams. She is going to be known as an artist and have her art featured in a gallery.

Suddenly as if struck by lightning, Elli remembered the words that were scripted in the book, “Speak what you seek until you see what you say.” This morning, Elli couldn’t afford a simple dinner, but since reading those words in the little black book, her world has completely changed.

While leaving Sherwood Park, Elli had wished that she could afford a taco from Burrito Benny’s, and $20 gravitated to her. Later, Elli longed for an encounter with the right individual who could open her up to a realm of opportunities. Soon after, she formally met the curator of the Sherwood Gallery who loved her artwork so deeply that he is keen on featuring her original oil paintings and pay her $20,000 to do so.

Elli felt like she was in a fairy tale. She wanted to reread and finally understand the lines in the little black book that changed her life, but the notebook was nowhere to be found. It was like this beautiful little journal had entered her life only to remind her that the possibilities are endless. That with the right mindset, a simple and sad girl from the city truly can create her own reality.