Advice Doesn’t Work

I used to be a possessive best friend especially when my girls were dating someone.

When people are in love, they can’t always think objectively, so I think my unbiased opinion could help them.

I told my friend to break up with her boyfriend when she found out he was cheating. Or else convince my friend to pursue a certain path when they tell me about their dream.

I believed the advice was a way for me to show my support and care for them. But, I’m done with this behavior.

I know this is a mistake because unrequested advice can be so annoying. When I told a friend about the complex documents I’m facing in my job right now, she encouraged me to return to on-site traditional work.

Well, that wasn’t quite the response I was hoping for. Especially the tune felt more like a lecture than humble advice to me.

I’ve carefully weighed the pros and cons before making this decision. Every choice comes with its own set of consequences, and I’m prepared to face them head-on.

Sometimes, I just need to express my tough day and want someone to listen. It makes me feel cared for. Maybe that’s what others expect when they share their day with me too. Advice seems pointless.

I don’t want to be the person who intervenes in the way others show love.

I try to put myself in their shoes, but I can never fully understand their feelings and experiences. That’s why I’ve stopped giving advice, especially on personal matters.

I believe everyone should be able to make their own decisions. I’m not perfect either, so I don’t feel like I should be the one fixing things

Yet, we can never truly own a decision unless it comes from within ourselves.

Although my friend initially agreed to break up after her boyfriend cheated, she quickly changed her mind and decided to forgive him. This cycle repeats every time a similar situation occurs. She was tired and I felt drained trying to convince her to make better decisions.

I’ve come to see, that sometimes we just gotta own up to that particular mistake unless we never really learn from it.

Many gurus advise learning from others’ mistakes to grow quickly and avoid making the same mistakes. I believe the opposite.

We gotta just own up to our mistakes, admit them, and learn from them.

No one else can feel for you. No one else can speak the words from your lips. — Unwritten-Natasha Bedingfield

Human nature is too stubborn to simply believe in people’s mistakes.

It gives me more peace as well. I no longer feel irritated when listening to my friend who has made the same mistake several times. Criticizing them in this situation only adds to their burden. What I must do is be there for them. Give them the space to thoughtfully ponder their next move.

This also makes me less tired. I don’t feel like I’m using energy to influence them, so I’m fine when their decisions no longer match mine.

Focus on understanding, not fixing. Let them choose their own path.

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