Adversity is a GREAT teacher

Pruning

Pruning is a very important part of the growth of a tree. To enable a tree's growth, the gardener has to remove old branches to allow new ones to come. Adversity is one way we are pruned moment by moment.

We have all been there at some point or another. Whether we experienced heartbreak or betrayal from a spouse, friend, job, family member or otherwise.

Pain

The International Association for the Study of Pain defines pain as:

“an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage.”

So no matter what has caused you pain, know that this too shall pass and it is all a part of the pruning process.

Adversity is a GREAT teacher

If there is anything we all have in common – I would say that it is adversity. At some point in our lives, we WILL face adversity. Do not be fooled, it is not a matter of if, but a matter of when.

Some say that the difference in our success and failure is not chance, but choice.

I believe that whenever adversity strikes, it will not be what happens that will determine our destiny, but it is down to how we react to what happens. We can choose to finish strong.

My Lessons from Adversity

I have experienced several sputnik moments. Adversity has slapped me in the face whether I was looking or not.

Freedictionary.com uses these words in relation to adversity:

A state of hardship or affliction; misfortune.

A calamitous event.

distress; affliction; hardship

an unfortunate event or incident

One of my greatest lessons was the true meaning of love. I learnt the difference between being in love and loving someone. For all these years, I believed that I knew the difference – was I ever so wrong!

Picture yourself going along your day to day life thinking to yourself,

“I’ve got this! I know what I’m about! I know exactly where I’m going in life!”

You wake up one day and realize that you are lost. You then try to figure out how the heck did you get lost in the first place.

In the book, 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman explains that the in-love feelings last on average two years. Two years?!?! When this feeling passes, we then think that we no longer love. I saw my past relationships flash before my eyes, and suddenly, it made sense.

Love my dear friends is NOT a feeling!!! WHAT?!?!!? Then what is it?

Love is a choice. Love is a decision that says:

“No matter what, I am going to love this person.”

I then posed several questions. For example, “what if I am in an abusive relationship, should I love this person?” The answer – yes; you can choose to love this person from a distance.

Adversity’s lesson of Hope

Is it normal to hear the words adversity and hope in the same sentence?

Freedictionary.com defines the word hope as follows:

“1. To wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment.

2. Archaic To have confidence; trust.”

It’s never too late, hope can always be renewed.

Life and its choices

Choices, choices, choices. Whether we realize it or not, every day we get up we are presented with a menu of choices.

To eat or not to eat – it’s a choice.

To go to work or not – it’s a choice.

To forgive or not to forgive – it’s a choice.

To be happy or sad – it’s a choice.

To let go of the past and our pain bodies – it’s a choice.

To be rich or to be poor – it’s a choice.

To succeed or to fail – it’s a choice.

And the list goes on.

Every day I get up, I have to make the choice whether or not to make life and other personal challenges get the better of me. Every day, I MUST face my own demons – whether I want to or not.

They just do not seem to be going away. As soon as I conquer one, another shows its ugly head. I accepted a while now that is just the nature of life – it is what it is.

It is important to ask the right questions. So instead of asking:

“Why me, why?!?!”

Perhaps we could ask:

“What’s the lesson here? How can I turn this situation into yet another opportunity to learn?”

Now, do n0t get it twisted – I don’t always achieve taking this ‘higher ground’ approach. Yes, there are numerous occasions that I want to sit and cry and bathe in self-pity, self-doubt, etc, etc – but this too is a choice.

I came across three short stories written by Robert Kiyosaki for his fans. One of which is entitled “Story # 3 – Get the Loser Out of You”. After reading this story, I thought to myself – “well if Robert has to be challenging his own demons – mi nah gwaan too bad. There’s hope for me yet!!!”

Life and its choices: Change

To CHANGE or NOT TO CHANGE – it’s a choice.

I try to embrace this, even when it scares ‘the you know what’ out of me. Change happens everywhere, all the time, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. It is a fact that change is a part of life – it is what it is.

Change is inevitable... growth is optional. - John C. Maxwell

There are only two things that do not change. One is truth and the other is the fact that everything else changes or is in a state of flux. No matter who we are today, regardless of our backgrounds, we can ALL become so much more.

My life is not what I want it to be. I made the decision to give up what it is that was keeping it that way. I am adding the things that will enable me to make it the way I want it to be.

This is an ongoing process for me. I am constantly challenged to step out of my own comfort zone – kicking and screaming most times, might I add. What I do know is that I will not achieve what I want to achieve by remaining “comfortable”. If I want more than I currently have I will have to become more, make different choices and think differently.

In other words, I will have to change and grow. By no means am I saying that it’s easy, but…

“CHANGE is an irrefutable fact of life.”