Adrian R

I have tried and tried to write a book. A blockbuster of a book. A book for which I would be remembered for long after I'm gone. At this point in my life, however, it just isn't happening. Flesh out your characters, make sure they don't all sound like you. Do your research, blah blah blah.

I think about all of the authors that a teacher has compared me to, and all the phrases they've used to describe me. Marches to the beat of a different drummer. Hemingway, Dostoevsky. The list goes on and on. At some point one turns to scripture and looks for THE answer there. I've read Hemingway: The Sun Also Rises, The Old Man and the Sea. Hemingway eventually blew his brains out with a shot-gun. Note to self: don't mess with firearms, some day it will make things all too easy.

Only whimps take the easy way out. I'm no whimp. Crime and Punishment, I read that too. I'm tired of punishment. If I had a nickel for every time I knew punishment was headed my way, and did what I wanted to... I'd be rich. I wouldn't be here, today writing what your reading right now.

I remember a couple of nice young fellows who rode their bikes up to the borrowed mobile home I was staying at. I had nothing to do. So I let them start. Mormons they were. One said that if I studied the book of Mormon also, I'd get more stars in my crown. My response, after getting the young man to admit that just studying the Bible would get me into heaven, was this: "If I get to see Jesus, I don't care if I'm buck-naked - I don't deserve to be there anyway." His jaw dropped. Crossed them off my list I did.

Seemed to me that was kind of the point anyway.

One time, a couple of ladies, one older came and a younger lass rang my bell. "You can tell which is the correct tree by its fruit" Wait a minute: doesn't that refer to people and not necessarily which Church is the correct one? The older lady gestured to the younger and they were gone.

I should've said, "Ya'll come back here... ya hear?" But I didn't. That would've be funny. Maybe not. No one wants to come off as an ass. But that seems to be what I'm truly gifted at: making as ass of myself. I know somewhere in the Old Testament, there was a talking ass. Meh... there's that fixation with asses and their holes.

I remember a funny young guy from High School. Ngoc Huynh. He'd call me 'Mr. Adrian.' Jiminy Cricket. I miss so many people who are no longer in my life. But we're all only human after all. We should do unto others as we'd have them do unto us.

God has a plan for each and every one of us. I think, right now, its my job to just stay alive as long as possible. Give myself a break. Try not to worry about those who are closest to me, and the terrible things I've said and done to drive them away.

Hopefully, I'll be ready for that stress test I have coming up tomorrow. Hopefully, they won't have to crack open my chest someday and worry about putting me back together again. Give the king's horses and men a break for goodness' sake. They can use it more than I can. That's for sure.

At this point, I guess I should apologize to the reader. I know there wasn't much of a point to this story. But then again, who am I to judge? We'll all be measured up some day by the same standards we judged other people.

I'm pretty sure I'm safe. Get yourself a Bible. One that's easy to understand. Read it, study it. Maybe you'll thank me one day, and we'll share a laugh.