A Voice to be Reckoned With

A voice. Used to express your thoughts and feelings.

Mine came and went. As a kid I was very vocal. My mom would tell me I talk way too much. I expressed my feelings freely. Whether I was extremely excited about something or extremely upset. I was going to tell you what it was, and you were going to hear me.

But as I got older that was just barely the case. It felt like the older I got the easier it was for society to take my voice away from me. “You can’t say that that’s rude,” but I was only giving my opinion on the situation. “Ew, you like those kinds of things? That’s weird,” but I never judged what they liked, and they were the ones to ask me…

It got frustrating and honestly it sent me back into a little hole that I used to be in. A quiet one. The very early years of my life I was on the quiet side. Barely even spoke, just smiled. By the time I was in late elementary I found my voice. But as everyone's judgements, whispers slowly took my voice away, I started to become someone I couldn't even recognize. I didn’t know who I was anymore, and I started to question myself. What should I like? What is okay to say?

Of course it led me into depression very early on amongst other things and I didn’t know what to do, or who to turn to. Therapy was expensive so that wasn't an option. However, I was also scared to even think about going to therapy. I was...Indecisive.

I mean after all what was okay to say? Would they judge me too?

This struggle of mine went on and off for years. Every single time I thought I found my way, my voice again something or someone came and snatched it back. I felt this was going to be a never ending cycle.

Then, my beautifully artistic mind came up with a brilliant idea. Express yourself through what you do best; art. Not a particular kind of art either, that's why I didn't narrow it down. I love painting, drawing, writing, and making music. The list doesn’t even stop there. It was my way of expressing myself without having to say a word. Without having to open my mouth I still had a voice. One that no one could take away from me. One that is unique only to me.

When I can’t think of the words to say I’d lift a brush. Whatever called to me in that moment was my canvas. Whatever colors yelled at me and called out my name was going to make its debut. I'd mix, and splash, and make beautiful strokes of whatever my heart desires. I’d create something that didn't need a written explanation, because the painting would speak for itself.

If I needed to reach out to someone because I’m having a hard time, someone who I thought could relate I’d take out my pen, phone, or laptop and put words together. Even if it didn't make sense. And I’d create poetry, or even a song. Something that anyone could hear even just by reading it.

Honestly, if I had a little more to say I’d even write a short story. To me writing is an art too. I mean not many people can sit and put millions of words together and create a masterpiece.

Art became my voice. My way out of my head. My way of connecting with people all over the world.

I’ve created many books I’d soon hope to publish. Paintings that I’m hoping could reach the hearts of someone. A blog that invites any and everyone to come join and make new friends. Handmade candles that help bring you to your senses.

Art is my way of life. There’s not enough words in the world to explain how art can not only be used as a comfort, but to be monetized into a living. I want to continue to reach people. In any way I can. I want to create a place where not only can I have the relief I need but to also provide help and products that can help people too. I want to draw new people in through my words or paintings, and introduce them to a safe place.

I don’t do this for me anymore. I do this for everyone. Anyone who needs to be hugged a little tighter today. Like how I wish someone hugged me back then. To bring a smile to someone's face, the way I wished someone did for me when I felt like my world was ending.

I created a voice that I want to share.

I don’t want to stop at the brand and work I created for myself. I want to expand and reach places I’ve never heard of. In due time I know I’ll accomplish my dreams.

The voice I created shall grow and reach new places.