A simple trick that helped me through the toughest time of my life

Not too long ago, I found myself going through what can only be described as an awful ‘rough patch’. It took a toll on my mental health to the point where I had started to research ways to end my own life. I had given up and accepted that maybe a way out doesn’t sound too bad.

Once I had come to that conclusion, every decision I made was with the end goal of complete self-destruction. I burned bridges and severed bonds that meant everything to me, subconsciously. In the depths of my mind, my logic was: if I make people angry, they won’t care, and if they don’t care, no one is hurt.

It took me a little while to figure out that I had simply given up on my faith. Faith in life, faith in the process and faith in myself.

Along with some important people in my life, I had abandoned my own journey to finding the better me. I was entangled in the negatives, the lacking of my life and my surroundings, and that made me a magnet for even more of it to come.

What helped me? Without trying to sound preachy, it was meditation and one simple trick that just came to me in the middle of a surrender meditation. I knew that I needed to surrender; surrender to the universe, surrender to my circumstances and surrender to the pain. I needed to let it all go. I guess I knew that maybe some ties were severed beyond saving but I have made my peace with that now. It is okay to outgrow people or simply, head into a different direction.

Along with keeping up with the practice of meditation, I needed to reign in my mind during the day-to-day. I’d spend a lot of time alone working, writing, driving, always in my head. With the knowledge that negative thoughts lower our vibration thus attracting more negatives into my life, every time I had a bad thought that threatened to spiral I did this one simple thing. I started to visualise my thoughts. Every time I had one of those thoughts, I’d catch myself and in my head, picture an envelope closing, a deal being put on it, and it floating away from me. It was really that simple.

The hard part is recognising that thought, that mindset setting in and stopping yourself from delving deeper.

We have so much power inside of us, and I’d have to write a story much longer than this one to lay out my full journey but the experience has been incredible. Once you realise your own power and live in coherence with, well everything, it is so hard to feel the negative feelings that try so hard to creep into our lives. Taking everything for what it is, accepting and surrendering is so far from giving up, I can’t believe it took me so long to just be me.

Part of the beauty in surrender is accepting that things happen, some things within our control and some not, but what we can control is our perception. Our response to outside triggers is all that matters, for our happiness, other people’s happiness and the happiness of the universe.

We are all in control of our journey though as well as the way we interpret the signs we receive. We must be open and invite these experiences into our lives including the opportunity to let ourselves clear our mind by sending those pesky, negative thought envelopes as fast and far away from us as possible.

Much love, darlings xo