A Letter to My Younger Self

Hannah,

Stop, just stop what you're doing right now. No one is bothering to look at you and if they happen to look your way, it is only because they see that you are enjoying yourself. That's what life is all about anyways, isn't it? Finding the things, people, and places that make you happy, fill you with joy, and you can hold close to your heart. You need to stop holding back and missing out on things you would have reveled in due to the irrational fear that you have of those around you judging you. Laugh loud and freely because you feel like it, make memories, because at the end of the day that's all we have, and most importantly love yourself relentlessly for who you are. Be kind to yourself. You matter.

At some point, anxiety may begin to overtake your mind and try to control the way that you live your life, but I want you to remember that it is okay to not be okay. Do not punish yourself for something that you have little to no control over because you need to try to push past it, and blaming yourself isn't going to help. Accept that your mind is playing tricks on you and then do your best to rationalize, so that you can calmly move forward. You need to find ways to cope, such as: Meditation and exercise, and stick with them and you will begin to notice some positive differences. Most importantly do not hesitate to lean on your friends and family, because they only want to help you improve yourself.

Be quick to forgive but don't forget; have faith in the words, but only believe the actions of those around you. Easy to say and harder to accomplish, I know. All you can do is your best, and anything less shows your lack of commitment, and the same goes for everyone else in the world. There will be those who say things that they will come to regret. People are quick to speak and they don't always think first, the same can be said about the way we act as well. Long term actions show you peoples' true intention, but on occasion the things they say without careful consideration will show you what they really think. Don't be afraid to trust your instincts.

There is this magical place you go to when you need to escape the stresses of the world. It's not a physical place, but a paradise that you slowly drift into as your hands caress the pages as they turn. Reading has always been your safe haven and I want to encourage you to branch out and try to immerse yourself in new genres. Explore the thrill you get when reading horror novels, expand your knowledge by choosing a non-fiction book, and even allow yourself to cry it out with a tear-jerker. It's comforting to stick with the things you know and love, but some of the best things in life come from the unknown.

While I know the result of how things are going to play out, I can't help but wonder what my life, our life, would've become had you received a letter like this in the past. I constantly wonder if you would've listened and taken the advice to heart, or if you would've brushed it off like the stubborn young lady that I know you can be. Wonder is a very bittersweet thing because it can bring fascination and joy, but it can also create regret. I don't want you to feel like there is anything in life to question and that is something to keep in mind throughout the adventures life has in store.