A Letter To My Heart

For most of my life I have spent a lot of time and energy trying not to hurt anyone. I did my best to make sure that I was making everyone else happy and doing the things they thought were best for me. However, in doing that I realize that I neglected the most valuable thing in my life which is you. I hurt you and neglected you.

In trying not to hurt anyone else, you were the one that I hurt the most. Ironically you were the one who deserved it the least. I didn't want to hurt you and I didn't mean to, I just didn't see you as a priority. I put you last and neglected to take care of you in the way that you deserved. So I need to say that I am sorry for not taking better care of you.

I am sorry for all the hell I put you through. I am sorry for taking you down so many wrong paths and letting the wrong people destroy you and break you. I have learned how fragile you are and I should have known to take better care of you. But I let you go too far too long and now the damage is more than I can handle.

I am sorry for all the disappointment and humiliation that I have caused you. We both know that you didn't deserve it. I am sorry for all the times I put you on the line to prove a point. I am sorry for all the times I thought other people were breaking you when it was really me the whole time. I am sorry that I neglected putting you back together.

We have fought many battles together. We have won some and we have lost some. I can't apologize enough for the ones we couldn't win. I am sorry that I put you through so much heartache. I am sorry for holding on to people who only set out to hurt you in the end. We are both still dealing with the permanent damages of all of those people.

I am sorry for not appreciating you and all the goodness you have to offer. I am sorry for not trusting you when you tried to guide me down a path or tried to get me to let go of the wrong people. I am sorry for not listening to you and taking what you were telling me into account. If I had listened we might not be in the mess that we are in.

It's taken me a long time to learn my lessons. And I'm not even sure that I have learned them all at this point. I'm not a perfect person and I can't promise that I ever will be. But I can promise to be better and to make more of an effort to take better care of you. We both deserve that and I want to piece you back together.

I know that I was the one who broke you because I wouldn't listen. I wouldn't hear what you were saying when you warned me against things and tried to move me away from certain people. But from this moment on I am apologizing for not taking better care of you and promising that from now on we are in this together.

Thank you for staying strong and not giving up on me. We have many more battles to face, but I have faith that we can win them together!