We've all heard the word "success" at one point in our life and we have heard the word be used in many different terms. But what exactly is success? What does being "successful" mean?
There is no right or wrong answer to this question, due to the fact that being '"successful" varies from person to person. My idea of success may differ from your own, but that does not necessarily mean there is a contradiction in the concept of what it means to be a successful man or woman. I've only come to understand and have an idea of what success means to me as an individual, as I get older and gain more experience.
Many of us growing up were told to get a "good paying job" and work for a good company or in an industry that would put enough money in our pocket's so that we could grow up and live a "happy life."
You know how the story goes... find someone that makes you happy, get married, buy a house, fill the garage with a new car, and eventually have kids and hope to live for the days to see your grandchildren grow up. It's as if life was already pre-destined for us; and don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with having that as your blueprint for life. The contradicting thing here is; what happens when you follow these guidelines, but you still feel empty inside, with no passion and excitement for tomorrow? Simply living life, as if tomorrow would be just like today. I wouldn't find much excitement either. As time continues, and I think more about my life and my story, it's as if life itself is teaching me firsthand through trial and error.
The idea of "success" and what connotations that word has for each of us, are pre-established beliefs instilled in us by society, about how we should live our life. We measure our success with another person's yardstick, and as long as we continue in the repetition of these actions, you will never truly see, just how successful YOU truly are. How could you, if you are always comparing your score to the person next to you? You will never truly be fulfilled until you stop comparing your score card with another individual. We can only focus on our shortcomings vs our success.
Don't wish it were easier; wish you were better."
-- Jim Rohn
Nothing has any meaning, except the meaning we give it; You CHOOSE what things mean. You need to OWN that POWER. As I learn more, I don't think of success as having more money than you can count, or the newest cars or biggest house. I don't think of success as knowing a lot of people or being known by everybody, because at the end of our lives, when we are on our death beds, those "things" will not dictate our focus. Spend some time with someone who is coming to the end of their journey; google "top 10 things people regret at the end of their lives." What you will find won't surprise you and I'm sure you could guess a few right off the top of your head.
Not spending enough time with loves ones, working too much, not being true to yourself and your feelings, are all common answers. So why is that we wait until we have ran out of time to realize what was truly important? What is happening psychologically when you are on your deathbed? Your mind becomes clear, it begins to reveal what was truly dear and close to your heart, you are seeing your life backwards, but by then it is too late.There is no more time. I think about this concept a lot lately.
To me, success is being able to impact a person's life in a positive manner. Being able to be a shining light for someone, being a friend, building relationships and experiences with another human being, is what life is all about. "To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." We can't take our money, cars, jewelry or our home along with us when we die, we can only take our experiences and memories along with us. None of those things will matter when you no longer have youth and are immobile, you will only have your thoughts. This is what makes a man rich and it is also what makes him poor; his state of mind. Man is the creator of his world and his destructor.
Every Morning You Have Two Choices, Continue Your Sleep with Dreams or Wake Up and Chase Them
Most of us believe we can't change the world; that we need money, influence (a big following), a certain title or degree to make an impact, but that is the BIGGEST bullshit lie there is. We don't have to wait for the right time, there is no such thing. There is only NOW, we only have this moment. Life is fragile and it is not promised; if you have ever lost someone, you know this. Yet why are you waiting for someone or something to make you happy? Nothing external will ever bring you genuine joy; all happiness stems from our internal world. The world, the universe, karma, God, whatever you believe in, teaches us one common lesson and that is that our internal world (our mind), reflects our outer perception, our external world; you reap what you sow. What we see in others is a reflection of ourselves, some we love, some we hate. We best come to understand ourselves through our relationships with other individuals. The traits we tend to dislike in others are usually the traits we do not like about ourselves. We then tend to judge and criticize these characteristics.
So how does this all connect to success you may ask?
Until we learn to understand ourselves and bring awareness to our thoughts and feelings, we can never fully reach our potential to help others. When I embarked on my journey of self development, not only did I begin to understand myself and my thought process, but that same awareness allowed me gain consciousness of others. I began to be proactive vs reactive to situations and other people. One of the most important key steps to achieving success in life, is to know the meaning of success for your personal life, we get to choose! Success has nothing to do with the tangible items or degrees to our name, rather it has everything to do with leaving the world a little bit better than we came into it. We all have that potential sitting in us ready to be unlocked, that power is unique to each one of us. Whatever struggles you have endured or are currently going through, that is SUCCESS! We all go through tough times, some go through more difficult times than others, but our struggles are what make us unique. Your struggles, are your SUPERPOWER, they give your life purpose if you dig deep and create a powerful a meaning! Whatever your story is, TELL IT. Share it with the world and bring it to light; it does not have to reach hundreds or thousands of people for you to make an impact. We all live in one collective world as human beings, but we are all living in our own individual world with our own perspective. If I can change one person's life for the better or give someone the courage and inspiration to take action and change their lives, I have changed the world; one world. It is all a domino affect, the person you help today might be the person that goes on to change the world! We must lead by example, "be the change you wish to see in the world." Success cannot be measured by tangible items, for these "things" can never truly fulfill our need for happiness.
You can hop in another relationship, get a new car, buy a new home, or dazzle yourself with jewelry, but at the end of the day you cannot run away from yourself or your lies and how you truly feel. There will never be enough of these materialistic and diminishing items, because there will always be something or someone bigger and better; we must learn to be happy with our own and not allow our ego mind to control our contentment. We make the mistake of thinking that happiness stems from attaining possessions, without realizing that we are the ones truly responsible for our happiness and well being. Until you mend your relationship with yourself, you will never connect with other people, you will always be in survival mode, blaming life for its "unfairness"and stuck on how life has "wronged" you; insecurities will eat you inside out. Do not contradict yourself as well, for you will hit a wall. Do not be the person who has a bible verse in their bio, but does not act in correspondence to that value; that is living a false life. Do not trust the person who treats the business owner well, but is rude to the waiter. We must treat everybody with an equal amount of respect, for you have no idea why that person is the way they are. Do not let your EGO control you. No matter how many setbacks you have had or how long it will take to get there, you are a success as long as you know where you are going. Success is the fruit, perspective is the seed. Success comes as the by-product of a life lived from the inside out. As I get older and more experienced with the world, I'm slowly coming to realize that my perspective is what gives me my edge over others. I know the alternative of a bad, unhappy, life. I know what it is like to come from nothing, and for the longest time I was blind to that, always comparing my road to others, lost in a mist of self pity. I'm on my own personal road and you are as well. You are successful in your own way, unique, and powerful. Take time for yourself to sit back and think about how far you have come and how much you have accomplished. Life is too short to not pat yourself on the back and celebrate all the smalls wins. A win is a win. No one will push you as hard as you can push yourself, nobody has to love you, nobody has to care for you, because at the end of the day NOBODY has to, the world owes you nothing. It's a big pill to swallow, but you will discover your power when you realize this. You must be your own self motivator, you must be your own best friend, and you must love yourself before you can love others. You cannot give, what you do not have, you cannot forgive what you cannot forget, BUT you can LOVE even if you are not being loved.
3/11/18 3:07a.m -J.D