A Dark and Turbulent Time

It's 2018, just a little less than 2 years ago when I experienced a moment in my life where I didn't have anywhere to live and was basically trying to live out of my car just so I wouldn't have to give my dog to someone until I got back on my feet. It was summertime. I had lost all faith from my family. My friends were there for me as much as they could be but for the first time ever, I felt truly lost.
My mother had enough of my juvenile ways and I just wasn't ready to stop.

When I came home from another pysch ward visit, I found out I didn't have a home any longer. The tough girl I thought I was grabbed my dog and left. All my belongings were in my car and I just drove. Where was I going? I had no clue. One thing was for sure and that was I couldn't bring my dog down with me. She had to go somewhere safe. This was the time where I couldn't be scared to ask for help.
Two friends at the time stepped up for me in ways that I'm forever grateful for.

They took in Nikki for me and found me a place to stay. The place was miles and miles away from Nikki and again I was scared and felt alone. I cried for possibly a week straight thinking what have I done to my life. I can't say I cleaned up my act right away but it did send a lit match up my you know what.
After many dark days and nights of living at this house (filled with other women just like me), my mother decided it was time for me to relocate into somewhere else. That is when I then stayed in a hotel. I wound up having Nikki with me and my boyfriend so I didn't feel alone. Some ups and downs occurred with my boyfriend there but I pushed through and decided enough was enough. I landed a job and moved back in with my mom temporarily until I could find an affordable place to live.


I definitely am a believer when it comes to pushing through dark times, do not give up. Most of all I love myself today. There was a time when I didn't care how I dressed or what I looked like. Today that's a thing of the past. Ride the wave and swim to shore, there is a calmness waiting there for you.