A Carved Out Fresh Start

Twenty twenty was one of the hardest years for many of us, if not all of us. It started with such a promise of greatness and then turned on us like a great creeping monster. It came at us like a giant wrecking ball does tearing down a five story office building. It was catastrophic, completely obliterating, if not at least uprooting all areas of our lives.

It left a lot of empty spaces for me. Where I thought I'd be having the semi-biggish bohemian glam wedding I had always imagined became non existent. My weekdays that were filled with my full time day job and my evenings and weekends spent hustling with contracted clients vanished. And with that our hopes for purchasing our home in the same year dwindled also. Around us, the world looked like it was on fire. We witnesses friends, family, and loved ones fall ill and felt helpless - that tore into my heart not being able to help them. The media showed our country and world in rage, sadness, and literally on fire. I was waiting for the alien ships to arrive because that would be next on the list, right?

In some sort of way twenty twenty felt like a black hole sucking everything in leaving us empty. Where did we go next? What were we supposed to do from here? When will this viciousness end? But even with all of that hardship, opportunity and simple blessings were found. My now husband and I did have a wonderful wedding. We called it our "Mini Pandemic Wedding" and it was perfect. It was a little backyard garden wedding, boho vibes of course, with our immediate families and our very closest friends. Our community became closer and grew stronger. Together we learned to support each other. We learned how to connect more intentionally. We found light in the darkness.

Maybe it's the artist in me, or maybe I'm just one of those unconventional thinking types, but I'm seeing this new year as a blank canvas. Twenty twenty did leave us a lot of empty spaces but that also leaves us a lot of possibilities. When you have nothing, you can have anything.

What are all those things you wanted to do that you haven't been able to yet? Your life took a different road? Through all of this chaos and hardship in some twisted kind of way, we've been given a reset button.

The last eighteen years I've been working my butt off working overtime, nights, early mornings, and overstressed just to make ends meet. And I've never quite been satisfied. I've never felt fulfilled. Something's lacking. My passions. What are those things you wanted to do as a kid? You know the things that instinctly you could yell out because you thought it would feel good to do it? The things you wanted to do before you had to answer to obligation or expectations. Let's do those things. What if we all started doing the things we'd love to be doing? Even better, what if we made a living from doing the things we loved? I kind of feel like through all of this I've been given a hall pass to chase those things.

Growing up I wanted to be a fashion designer and own a boutique, an artist, and work in psychology. Yeah, I'm totally that eclectic. I'm that girl. Those are things that light me up. Could you imagine a world if everyone was doing the things that lit them up? It would be freaking magical! This year is it. We have literally had a year painfully carved out for us to have a fresh start. Shouldn't we not take it in vain? Take advantage of it and make the best of it. This is the year to really spin things around. It's a clean slate. I mean in my case, what else am I going to do? I am literally in a sitting duck scenario.