9 Tips to Deal With Anxiety/Depression in 2021

We live in a time where everything seems doubtful. From our jobs to providing for our families, even our own damned sanity seems shaky.

My tolerance for unpredictability is, shall we say, non-existent. I’ve dealt with anxiety/depression for almost 20 years, and during this time, I was able to accumulate tips that helped me to be in a place of calm during times of uncertainty.

Hopefully, these tips will help to bring more joy into your life in the upcoming year.

1.) Love Yourself

When we’re anxious/depressed it can be difficult for us to think clearly and accurately. We forget who we are and become impatient.

We have to remember to be gentle with ourselves. When negative thinking becomes too much, try to calm yourself and tell your ego that everything is okay even if you feel it’s not.

If you’re depressed, you’re living in the past.

If you’re anxious, you’re living in the future.

If you’re at peace, you’re living in the present.

-Lao Tzu

When dramatic changes occur, I quietly chant Everything is ok. Everything is as it should be for as long as it takes. This is a grounding exercise and works quite well.

The brain doesn’t know the difference between a dream and reality, so this is very effective. The more I implement this method, the less time it takes for it to work in the future.

The brain gets scared when uncertain situations arise because it wants to protect us from harm and keep us safe. It’s only doing what it’s supposed to do.

When situations don’t go your way, try to understand that everything happens in Divine Timing. We are all in this together.

2.) Reflect on Past Success

It’s hard to stay positive when life feels stagnant. It’s even harder to think positively when sh*t just keeps happening.

We can train our brains to forgive, but we can’t train them to forget. Forgetting about a traumatic event from the past would be like prying a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Strawberry Cheesecake Ice Cream from my fingers…it ain’t happenin’.

There have been numerous times when I felt I wouldn’t overcome an obstacle (getting hired after constantly being laid off, separating from the military with an honorable discharge, recuperating from death, etc.)

There were also times when I did overcome hardships and I reminded myself of those instances when I felt anxious about the unknown. And honestly, all the things I just listed, I obtained.

So next time you feel your back is against the wall, try to think about all the times you did succeed.

3.) Develop New Skills

Say you’ve done everything in your power to make the uncertain, certain, and you still feel like you’re not getting anywhere. This is the perfect time to develop a new skill.

For example, when I became unemployed, I applied to every job I qualified for on countless platforms. I have a psychology degree, so the range of occupations is pretty broad. Everything from business to teaching to social services; I applied for them all.

I also wrote differing cover letters for every single job, yet, I received zero contact. While I played the “hurry up and wait” game, I entertained the idea of building my own business, so I began working on this blog.

The point is, I started to invest in myself and my business. It felt good to expand my knowledge and learn something new. It felt good to engage in something I truly enjoyed. It felt good to feel good, period. So when life hits you with the bulls*t, use that time to invest in yourself and develop your skills.

4.) Unplug From Social Media

I know this one may seem pretty simple, but stop scrolling through the damn feed! Remove yourself from social media. Every time I turn around, there’s a f*cking fire, a protest turned riot, Trump’s toupee, etc.

I’m not taking away from the seriousness of these situations, but let’s admit it, Trump’s toupee is pretty f*ckin’ serious.

Social media tends to “dumb down” the masses and the news keeps its viewers in fear. Truth is, if you’re already in a space of doubt, chances are it’s going to make you feel worse.

So do yourself a favor and make it a habit to set boundaries with social media.

5.) Avoid Ruminating Thoughts

Now this is easier said than done. Your brain has a mind of its own. It never rests, even when you’re asleep. It literally thinks whatever the hell it wants.

However, you can train your brain to think certain thoughts. One of the issues I have is imagining worst-case scenarios. I mean, how did I reason not having my morning coffee to potentially being homeless?

The point is, try not to spin a narrative in your head that just isn’t true. There’s just no way to know exactly what’s going to happen. Thoughts and words are powerful.

You are not your thoughts!

Remember that thoughts become actions.

6.) Take Your Own Advice

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve spoken with someone who tried to tell me what I should do in a situation when they’re not doing (and have never done) what they’re telling me to do. Frankly, it feels hypocritical and it’s annoying.

It’s also important to note that doing this significantly decreases the value of advice. People not only want to hear good advice but to see it as well.

So take your own advice. Imagine yourself telling a friend what s/he should do in your situation, then do it.

7.) Take Care of Yourself

This by far is one of the most important tips. I feel this way because I remember a time when I was so depressed that it took an act of Congress for me to get out of bed and use the bathroom.

Some people may laugh at that and some people may feel that’s absolutely ridiculous, but I bullsh*t you not, depression is real. I just didn’t want to hurt anymore. I was so tired of feeling the same pain over and over and over again. It was crippling.

I can’t stress enough how important self care is when negative, unpredictable events happen in your life. Get out of bed, brush your teeth, take a shower, wear something comfortable, eat food, and drink plenty of water.

Everyone should have a self-care system in place. Not just when something bad happens, but in general. You come first, always. Take care of yourself because no one else will.

8.) Seek Emotional Support

I have one, yes, one friend. I had to rid myself of many toxic friends and family members.

I am my own support (with the exception of the Universe).

Being vulnerable with others isn’t easy for me as personal information has been thrown in my face from people of the past. I have a major trust issue when it comes to seeking emotional support.

With that being said, try to find support from those you feel you can trust, but if this isn’t an option, try speaking to a complete stranger.

I honestly find it easier to speak to strangers about my personal problems because 9/10 I’ll never speak to them again. The internet makes this extremely easy to do.

Sometimes, you just have to get those feelings out and this is okay. If you’re finding it difficult to function day to day, try talking to a therapist. They’re there to help you.

Utilize the resources around you for emotional support.

9.) Control What You Can

It’s scary to think that we’re not in complete control of our lives and that can make us feel powerless…if we allow it.

We can’t control what’s going on in the world or when we’ll feel an overall sense of stability again, but we can control how we view it and explore healthy options to pass the time.

All in all, we can only manage our lives. We can only manage what we do and how we react.

Once this is realized and accepted then freedom doesn’t seem so far away.

Freedom = Happiness.

There are many different ways to soothe yourself during times of distress. These 9 tips are what aided me during anxious and depressive episodes.

I hope this blog post sheds some light on what you could do when life gives you a ticket to the sh*t show.

What are some of your strategies? Do you practice some of these tips as well?

Blog post originally published on Medium.com