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5 Ways to Fall In Love With Yourself

Reframing Valentine's Day

By Teddi JutsenPublished 4 years ago 4 min read
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Is Valentine’s Day over yet?

Are you one of those who have lost interest in Valentine’s Day because it has become too commercialised?

When I was in primary school, Valentine’s Day was exciting. We got to make Valentine’s Day cards for our parents, yes, our parents. We got to exercise our creativity. We got to write love messages that rhyme. We got to practice our best handwriting. It was fun!

And outside the school, there were sellers peddling little hearts of various designs made of plaster of paris with the words “I love you” written on them, that you can give as presents. In my young mind, Valentine’s Day was for expressing love for my parents.

As I got older though, the meaning changed, and I never quite warmed to that meaning. Now it seems like just another commercial event and the meaning is lost in all that.

Love does not need a special day to be expressed. Love needs to be expressed in every moment, not just on Valentine’s Day. And it starts with you.

Self-love is one of the hardest things to learn and to accept because it is often not taught. We live in a physical body with eyes that look outwards, in a world that increasingly compels us to look outside of ourselves for meaning, for validation, for connection, for appreciation, for love. That’s an endless trip of “looking for love in all the wrong places”. What happens when the love we’re expecting to find is not there?

The truth is you are always loved. The connection you are looking for is your connection with You.

By looking inside ourselves for reasons to love and appreciate, we find that meaning and deep connection that we are reaching for.

When we love our self, we don’t feel the need to look for love outside of us. And because we love our self, we send out that vibe, and we attract the same towards us from others.

It sounds so simplistic, doesn’t it, to say “love your self”, yet you’ll be surprised how many people never get to learn to truly love themselves.

Here are five simple things you can do to start loving yourself.

1) Speak kindly to yourself, whether out loud or in your mind.

The mind is always listening. What we say to our self in our mind sticks. What we say out loud goes in and reinforces what we have installed there previously. Our thoughts about our self then manifests in the words we speak. And around and around the circle goes. It becomes a belief. A belief is simply a thought we keep thinking. What we say to our self becomes the foundation of what we believe of our self. Build yourself up, let that be your foundation.

2) Be kind to yourself.

We all occasionally do things or have done things that we don’t feel good about. We all say things or do things we don’t mean. We all make mistakes. That’s part of life. That’s one of the ways we learn. We do the best we can with what we know in the moment. As long as when we know better, we do better. There’s no need to beat yourself up, or dwell on your mistakes. That’s one of the most unproductive things you can do. That’s like watching a bad movie over and over again. Dwelling on past mistakes will only hold you back from love. Instead, forgive yourself, and let go.

3) Commit time to pamper yourself.

When we love someone, we like to do nice things for them because we want them to feel valued, love and appreciated. Why not do it for yourself? Fall in love with the process of planning something special for yourself, and feel the excitement of looking forward to something special that you planned for yourself. Even if it’s only a quiet walk in the park.

4) Write a love letter to yourself.

Write yourself a love letter. Express your gratitude and appreciation to yourself. Honour yourself the way you would honour someone you love. Express thanks to yourself for all the good things you have experienced in your life up to this point. Express eager anticipation for more wonderful things you want to experience with You. Compliment yourself for all your positive traits, and all your characteristics that you feel proud of. Own the lessons you learned and marvel at all knowledge you have gained as a result of living your life. Make a commitment to yourself to love yourself unconditionally at all times. Read this to yourself everyday.

5) Be present for you.

Be the first to show up for you. If you want opportunities to turn up for you, whether it’s a job, a business, a romantic partner, or financial opportunities, be the first to turn up for you. If you want others to respect you, be the first to show respect for you. If you want to be valued, be the first one to value yourself. We teach people how to treat us by how we treat our self. If you want someone to fall in love with you, you must first fall in love with yourself.

Put the above to the test for 30 days and document your results. You’d be glad you did.

happiness
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About the Creator

Teddi Jutsen

Dragon Mother to three powerful sons.

Integrative Nutrition Health Coach.

Author, Songwriter, Artist, Blogger, Digital Marketer

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