3 Things That Change When I Found Joy in Trusting Myself

“Only fools crumble at the sight of weakness. Emotions are for the weak.”

A tourist scholar I met on a trip once told me this, and I couldn’t reply to him. Back then, I didn’t have the courage to contradict anyone, and even if I did, I didn’t have enough words to defend or express my own opinion.

I didn’t have the love, compassion, and understanding for myself that I have now to express what is important to me.

I didn’t even know who I was back then, so I just depended on other people’s opinions to feel good about myself.

This is what happens when you spend your time and energy looking good, comparing yourself to other people, and marking your spot according to their ranks.

Until I met a friend who showed me how little I regarded myself to accept any criticism thrown at me and apologize for any inconvenience other people feel towards me.

I am a human being. I am allowed to feel what I feel, and I am allowed to show it.

He taught me that weakness isn’t foolishness, and there shouldn’t be shame in showing one’s emotions.

Over time, I began to practice spiritual awareness and expose all sides of me that were hidden from the outside world. And these were the things that changed when I learned to accept myself for who I am.

Loving my body all or nothing

My body was a bigger part of my inferiority complex. I was fat and unattractive. I felt like I needed to prove myself to be anyone’s friend.

I was so hard on my body and deprived it of the nourishment it needs to function properly for everything I love to pursue. I was so ashamed that I forced it to shrink to a size to look appealing to others.

My body was flawed, but it had been with me during a traumatic accident, pregnancy, and heartbreak. I had to accept my body for its strength to find inner peace.

Every time I look in the mirror, I tell myself one or two things I like about my body.

By practicing this daily ritual, I have built a strong relationship with my body. I have also begun to honor any food cravings I have.

The more I fueled my desire with what it needed, whether it was chips, cakes, chocolates or green smoothies, fruits and vegetables, the stronger I felt in my body and mind.

I stopped body shaming myself whenever I grew out of shape. I accept that the human body is bound to grow from time to time, and when it does, I don’t hate myself for it.

Though I keep a fitness routine, it’s more of a hobby, and I do it for myself to avoid health risks and not because I want to please someone.

Asking for favors or help without shame

There is no shame in seeking or accepting one when it is offered. It wasn’t easy for me to accept at first.

I’ve always tried to figure things out and do things on my own, no matter how hard I struggled. I have struggled in silence for years because I didn’t want to be seen as weak a person or an opportunistic.

I took care of my own business and created my world, even though the world already felt heavy on my shoulders.

I realized that while being independent is a good thing, no human being is truly an island. There are things I have to do alone, but there are also things I have to admit that I can’t and never will.

The fear of not speaking up about my challenges has put me in situations I would never want to be in again, so I have learned to feel less sorry for expressing my need for help.

Having the discipline to control my destiny

I don’t come from a rich and luxurious family. When I was young, I started thinking the world owed me a living.

Due to my limited thinking, I struggled for years with low-paying cafeteria and clubhouse jobs before finally getting it.

At some point, I knew that things had to change in my life, and it was up to me. Instead of trying to control and suppress my negative feelings and thoughts and sacrificing myself for them, I embrace and acknowledge them.

I refuse to believe the negative voice in my head. I could no longer blame my dilemma on a difficult childhood situation or mistakes I had made in the past.

I was in charge. I was in the driver’s seat. I had to stop making excuses.

After my morning routine, I start the day by writing down my daily resolutions if I hadn’t already done it the night before.

I learned to accept change as the only constant thing and that sometimes, even my most proven strategy will not work in some situations, so I have to find a new trick to achieve my goal and stay on course.

Parting thoughts

Nobody has a life as refined as the one we see on social media. People only show a glimpse or the best moment of their life.

We all have problems no matter how much money we have. In fact, the greater your wealth, the more problems you have.

Understanding and accepting that we’re all works in progress has made me kinder, more compassionate, and more patient, not just with myself but with everyone around me.

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About author

Jessey Anthony is a motivational speaker, fitness coach and relationship expert who helps people become confident in themselves in any challenges they face in life. Sign up to my newsletter & more cool stuff.

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