3 Things Genuinely Happy People Don’t Do
Avoiding these three things can bring true lasting happiness.
Ask yourself, are you happy? Genuinely happy? If you answered no, well, why not? You are capable of experiencing a surreal type of happiness. Aren’t you? Of course, you are! Unless you have some genetic defect denying you of true happiness, then you — just like everybody else — can, in fact, be happy.
First, it’s important to clarify the difference between temporary happiness and lasting happiness.
What is temporary happiness?
Temporary happiness is that feeling you get after making a new purchase or eating something delightful. It feels good. As humans, we face a natural dilemma, where we confuse temporary happiness with genuine, lasting happiness. Unfortunately, we’ve successfully turned happiness into a game of cat and mouse. We chase the things that bring momentary pleasure, only to lose that sensation eventually, and then on we go to find the next ‘source’ of happiness.
So what is lasting happiness?
It doesn’t take a lot of brains to understand that lasting happiness is the kind of happiness that doesn’t just leave after a good meal or a night out with friends. Lasting happiness, unlike temporary happiness, doesn’t rely on external factors. To experience and understand lasting happiness, it’s equally important for you to understand what genuinely happy people don’t do because, sometimes, it’s more about what we don’t do than what we do.
Genuinely happy people don’t compare themselves to others.
What happens when we compare our lives with the lives of others? We compare our body weight, only to feel self-conscious. We compare our financial successes to feel ashamed when we find someone who makes more than us. We’ve even grown the habit of comparing our relationships with others, which is highly unfortunate.
When we compare our lives to others' lives, we tend to forget that every individual has their own path in life. Not only this, but it’s easy to look at where somebodies at, not realizing what they’ve done to get there.
We look at others' financial successes, thinking, ‘why aren’t I that successful?’ Not realizing everything that (person) went through to get to where he is.
We look at our body, but instead of feeling comfortable in our own skin, we compare our weight and muscle mass to others — and yes, men do the same thing. It took me a while to realize that my upper arms probably won’t ever make it to Vin Diesel or Terry Crews status.
Something magical happens once you stop comparing your life to the lives of others. Without comparison, you’re free to observe your life — without a sense of criticism — in the most freeing and introspective way possible.
Free from comparison, you’re now able to identify the changes that you want to make — not what you think you have to make, based on comparing yourself to others.
“Don’t compare your life to others. There’s no comparison between the sun and the moon. They shine when it’s their time.”
They don't buy stuff to make them happy.
Some people honestly believe that buying things makes you happy. Sometimes they’re not consciously aware of this. As soon as they feel the lingering effects of depression, or even if they’re just mildly upset, they trigger a spending habit and proceed to buy whatever makes them happy — or they think makes them happy. Food, video-games, books, art supplies, car parts — whatever it may be — they continue to buy things because it brings a temporary sense of happiness.
Again, there’s temporary happiness, and then there’s lasting happiness. Even though you may find temporary happiness after buying something, you’ll never find eternal happiness from external factors. To find real, lasting happiness, you have to look within.
First things first, ask yourself, do you have any spending triggers? When you start to feel upset, what’s the first thing you think of? For me, it’s either a fresh coffee or a good book. This might seem minor, but when you’re buying three, four, five books a week — plus a coffee every trip to Barnes & Noble — it becomes a problem.
Genuinely happy people don’t seek validation outside themselves.
You know what you’re worth. Or do you? Genuinely happy people do because they don’t seek validation outside themselves. They understand that happiness comes from a sense of self-awareness — being unique in their own way.
Trying to please others, especially when it goes against your beliefs or morals, will bring the opposite of true happiness. Changing yourself — who you’re meant to be — to please someone else is the worst thing you could ever do. Believe me. I spent years of my life trying to be somebody I wasn’t, to please someone who’s no longer a part of my life, and it took years for me to find myself again.
When you lose yourself — your sense of purpose, well-being, and unique identity — you find yourself in a state of crippling depression. It’s impossible to feel true happiness when you’re pretending to be somebody you’re not.
“Stop looking outside for scraps of pleasure or fulfillment, for validation, security, or love — you have a treasure within that is infinitely greater than anything the world can offer.” — Eckhart Tolle