3 Steps To Jump Over Failure

Being an ambitious citizen of the society, I always try to stretch myself in various ways to become the best version of myself. However, my strong determination to success constantly requires me to put myself out there. To attempt and chase all competitions, scholarships and opportunities. I know they won't wait for me, so if I want to succeed, I need to be the one to take the test. Thus, I am not only always put to the test but also constantly receiving either a failure or success letter. I stare at the email enclosing my result…. Count to 10 with a breath between each consecutive number…. And I click! There, right in the middle of all the fluff, is the answer.

In the past, I had to try to get back on my feet after countless rejections for scholarships, non-ideal scores in competitions and the changing from private to public schools. (I was definitely grateful that I was even able to attend a school. However, I had been to the same school for many years and had wonderful memories with the area and people there. The private school I attended also had many more opportunities available and was generally more competitive.) 

Whenever I looked at my score, I wanted to hide away and generally felt embarrassed about it. My parents didn't pressure me but awarded me things I didn't deserve. I felt ashamed of my results. 

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Everyone tells everyone that failure isn't actually a failure, it is actually a gain. But it actually is true! It told me where I was in the cohort and what I needed to improve on etc. Through my many failures, I get motivated to work and study harder with more efficiency.

However, looking and scrolling through all the rejection letters may cause you to feel useless, impotent or rubbish. Once this feeling creeps up on you, you must flick it away. It is not a choice and you must keep going! Here are three steps that will help you shed this feeling. 

1. Shed your skin

All your friends may have received that acceptance letter, but it was only you, you were the only one who received a rejection letter. Or, you may have gone from a private to public school. Or, you might have dropped a social class. From high to low.

To start with, you should admit to your past. Understand, that your past contributes to who you are today, to your abilities and ideas. It is your experiences that are unique.

Don't feel embarrassed by your now or the result you have received. Depending on your situation, you should either look at the problem in the eye and be proud of your result if you know that you have grown and improvButever, when you ask yourself if you have tried your very hardest, and your answer is no, accept the outcome and reflect on what you should do next time.

On the other hand, if your situation doesn't apply to option 1, you should neither distant nor go near your past. Allow yourself to have a break from everything that has happened.

Additionally, allow the negative emotions flow like a waterfall. Clinical psychologist, Ramani Purvasula PhD said, "These negative emotions are like riptides. Let them flow out of you…It may need mental health intervention, but fighting them can leave you stuck."

Things that have to come will always come, we will never be able to hide from it. Let your negative emotions have some time to drain all out.

As "suppressing your emotions, whether it's anger, sadness, grief or frustration, can lead to physical stress on your body. The effect is the same, even if the core emotion differs," says provisional clinical psychologist Victoria Tarratt. "We know that it can affect blood pressure, memory and self-esteem." If you lock it up in the long-term, you'll even have an increased risk of diabetes, heart disease, "problems with memory, aggression, anxiety and depression." A study from the University of Texas even discovered that when we don't appreciate or hide away from our feelings, we surprisingly make them stronger.

Once you have shed your skin, you may feel a bit lost and confused. However, don't give up and go to the next step!

2. Charge yourself with petrol

After that, get ready to fill yourself with energy! Focus on your now. Lisa Olivera, a licensed marriage and family therapist said, "When we start practising being present, our hurts have less control over us, and we have more freedom to choose how we want to respond to our lives."

Now, it is time to get excited about the future. Believe that the future will be great even though you have gone down this hill in your life.

Believe that you can come up again, because your future is dependent on what you do now!

I think right now is the perfect time to reflect and review on your why and purpose. Why did you challenge yourself? Who did you want to be? Who do you want to be now? Get excited about the future, by setting goals that are stepping stones to who you view yourself in the future.

At the bottom of the mountain, you may have found yourself in a new environment. Now, read and find out ways to succeed in your area. Also, seek and connect with more people to find more opportunities to stretch yourself as well.

3. Take off!

After the research and preparations, your plane is all set. Determine what your next step is, and gather up all your confidence, skills and everything you have learnt over your life…And get ready for……..Take off!!

Photo by Aleksandar Pasaric from PexelsTime + Understanding = Rising up after a downward slope

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Even though we can go through this process every time to get back on the road, don't we want a faster way? The only way is to get used to failure. Think failure as something that happens in our everyday lives. Now, how do we do that?

Getting used to failure

How do we know to brush our teeth every day? How do we know that we have to wear our masks outside every day? How does practice become a habit? Practising it every day, that is how. Thus, fail more. When entering a competition, job interview, or scholarship etc. definitely aim for success. But, when receiving the letter with the results, aim for failure. Also, understand what failure is. How failure can benefit you and your ability

Have faith for your future, don't dwell over your failure!