2022: Journey to Finding Inner Peace

When I think of New Year's resolutions I end up making a list. Everything from working out to eating healthy and even some fun activites that I've wanted to do for so long. This year I'm adding something different to the list. For someone like me who suffers from long-time chronic anxiety just the thought of functioning as a normal person seems like a fever dream. The feeling of panic clinging to you or hovering over you like a dark cloud. One thing I did in the past to help calm my thoughts was meditation but over the years I have lost touch with that inner peace. After the sudden death of my grandfather, my anxiety seems to have only worsened and I feel it's time to calm the monster and center my thoughts.

One aspect of meditation is learning how to calm your thoughts and befriend the silence. In a world that is always loud and chaotic that silence can be most relaxing. So I plan to pick up on meditation again. I still plan on working out and prioritizing my physical well being but I've realized I need to prioritize my mental well-being as well. Even if I need to utilize the help of HeadSpace once again I'm determined to rediscover my inner peace and find my center once again.

Remember that mental health is one of the most important and yet most neglected aspects of our general well-being. It's important to nourish your mind and find peace in the chaos. Anxiety and depression, along with countless other mental illnesses, plague us daily, but that doesn't mean we can't fight back. You can't fully relax if you're fighting stress all the time. Meditation teaches you to calm your muscles, to relax and focus your breathing, and to silence the noise both in your thoughts and around you. To help you fully grasp the importance of nothingness. No loud intrusive thoughts. No worry or stress. Just you, your breathing, and the silence.

I spent an entire year back in 2019 learning how to control my anxiety and yet I lost track. I fell backward and have only lost that control to my fears and the pressures of life. You add the loss of a close family member and both the financial and emotional strain that puts on a person... needless to say, I have felt more like a hot mess than I ever have before. I feel like I failed myself more than anything. Sure, that backslide has taken a toll on my physical health as well but it's the mental turmoil that I'm most concerned about. Being able to walk in a store without my chest getting tight and me feeling like I need to run to the bathroom to hide would be nice honestly. So with determination, I plan to not only better myself physically but also mentally. Tackling the monster I once had reigns of.

With meditation, I'll be able to find my inner peace once again. I'll be able to look at clothes without wanting to cry. I'll be able to handle stress with a calm thought process. I won't feel like curling up in the fetal position every hour and just hiding from everyone and everything. I'll also have the confidence to say that I'm in control. My goal is to meditate once a day in the morning so that I start the day with a calm mind. New to-do list: meditate, take vitamins, eat 3 proper meals, work out for an hour, and hydrate properly. So here's to saying goodbye to the pain that was 2021 and saying hello to 2022 and my rejuvenated journey to finding inner peace.