2022

My mental health has not been the best in the last couple of years. With the pandemic, family stuff, school graduation and starting university for the first time, I haven't focused much on myself. I have been prioritising other people's health and happiness over mine.

I've lost three family members; one of them died three days before Christmas. In July, I almost lost my parents due to COVID and ruined my relationship with food due to stress.

My main goal for 2022 is to be more mindful. I want to be aware of my time and my life. I've logged out of my social media but kept WhatsApp and iMessage. The last two weeks with no social media helped me be more productive and sleep better. I no longer spend hours on TikTok but spend hours walking outside and enjoying the beautiful sights around me. Instead of scrolling through the Instagram feed, I read books and watch movies that I've always wanted to watch. Instead of sending snaps to my friends, I take progress pictures at the gym and take pictures of beautiful buildings that I've never noticed before. Spending less time on my phone helped me see things I'd never noticed before. It helped me see people around me and beautiful trees, flowers, buildings, and streets.

I stopped eating meat as often as I used to. I felt healthier as I started cooking more and including more vegetables and fruits into my diet. I stopped drinking coffee to reduce stress. I stopped eating lactose, even though I was supposed to do it ages ago due to my lactose intolerance. I stopped binge eating and overeating. I feel better. My body feels better.

I started walking every single day. I joined a hot yoga class and started meditating every single day. It helps me to relax and connect with my body. I feel better exercising than wasting time on my phone.

I sorted out clothes and books in my room. I've decided to get rid of stuff that I don't use anymore to free some space. I've bought plants for my room.

I started taking care of my skin and hair. I cut my hair short, and it feels much better. I stopped drinking soda and alcohol; my skin has never been this clear. I started wearing my retainer every day, taking vitamins every morning. I stopped wearing makeup every day, and I only wear it when I feel like doing not and not because other girls do it. I caught up with my lectures, spent lots of time studying for my upcoming exams and working on my coursework.

This year is going to be a good one. I can feel it. This year might be the first time I will follow my new year's resolution. I've never realised how important mental health is until the pandemic. I've learned quite a lot about mental health issues; I've read many books and tried many different things. But I've had enough strength and motivation to work on it. At least not until now. I'm tired of being stressed and anxious, tired of crying myself to sleep and starving myself. I'm exhausted from overthinking and blaming myself for other people's issues and problems. I'm done trying to be liked by people how don't appreciate me just for being myself. I don't want to spend hours procrastinating and then regretting not doing anything.

This year I'm changing myself. My main goal is to become a better version of myself, not because someone forced me to, but because I want to do it. I want to be better, I can be better, and I will be.

This year, no being too lazy to work out or too sad to eat. No more crying because someone didn't like me or carrying about what other people think, and no more trying to fit in the crowds just to be like everyone else.

My mental health is my priority this year. I want to be stronger mentally, want to be healthier and happier. And so far, I'm doing pretty good, and I'm proud of myself.