#200: Something to Strive For

“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re Doing Something.”

—Neil Gaiman


A couple years ago while doing some new years cleaning I found a couple old writings I had done. For many years I wrote, let time pass, find them, tear them up, and deposit in the trash. It always felt sad, but I simply don't have room for stacks of random papers. As a step outside myself, I decided to join Vocal. I decided to share some stories. A way to make my nothing into something. Instead of sharing and depositing my time with the trash I would share the stories with people. The hours I deposited and allowed to be nothing is probably great. Vocal has helped me transform this hidden waste of time into an attempt at doing something and escaping an old routine.

I have found a new appreciation in fellow writers and a new amazement. Amazement that others read my stories and even cared to comment on them and amazement in the talent and ability of others words to impact my own thoughts. Amazement at the depth of creativity walking around in the world. I try to read at least a handful of stories a week and write one writing minimum every month or two. I have Found Vocal as my kitchen nook, evening office, and midnight secret of the best kind.

It has also made me grandly aware of my small vocabulary. I hope to expand my vocabulary in the coming years. I often find myself fighting with my brain and then my phone dictionary and thesaurus for the right word. The perfect word. A perfect word can make a ridge story start to dance off a page into a personal thought movie. At times, I get frustrated and depressed with what I am aware I lack. I try apps with games and try to find time to read more, but time can be a precarious game of balance. One day I hope to be able to more easily pull a larger quantity of words from memory. I want this to also translate into my everyday language in conversations. I have noticed how little life requires us to expand our vocabulary daily. It seems as difficult to learn vocabulary as it is a foreign language at times. I try to add at least 3 vocabulary words to everything I write. I know at times it sounds forced, but I hope with practice it will become more natural. It would be great to be a writer known for precise and tangible felicities. 

I am still experimenting with genres and trying to find my niche. Many times I designate this after I have began writing. This next year I would like to do this process in reverse. I will choose a genre and write specifically to it. This year I hope to finish "Dame Nature". A mystery adventure story that makes use of my Anthropology major. It's a fun story that has challenged me to use my interest in mesoamerican studies, although it is requiring more research than I anticipated. I hope to direct the story this year to a ending that makes sense.

Vocal gives people the ability to not only do something, but to learn to do it well in a community. True to myself, I am very shy and slow to establish connections with others. I have not really interacted with anyone on the site yet except for customer support. I hope to change this in the coming years through comments and taking part in challenges and writing tasks presented by online members.

Vocal gives you not just something to do, it gives you many things to focus on and work on to make a hobby or job a craft. I believe it gives everything Neil Gaiman is describing. Something to strive for.