15 Strategies for Building Patience to Help You Manage Stress

“Patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.” — Oxford Dictionary

During the most stressful life events, I learned to control the outcome

We’ve all experienced the negative effects of tension and anxiety. Major trauma and simple daily events require patience. I became empowered once I discovered patience allows me the ability to manipulate my mood, others’ responses, and my physical wellbeing.

The following scenarios present contrasting visuals showing how our responses to a situation predict the outcome.

Scenario 1: without patience, life wins

My feet ached as I stood at the sink peeling potatoes and frying chicken after a long, challenging day at work. The day seemed to drag on after working all day, and then I needed to cook dinner and deal with the children.

The kids should have been outside playing, but on this day, the teachers’ expectations required extra homework so two teenagers sat at the table complaining, whining, and asking questions. My head pounded and the nerves in my neck felt like they were tied in a knot.

“Alexa, play music. Alexa, turn the volume down. Alexa, highlight the day’s news.” My headache intensified as the announcer reported details of a conflict.

Then simultaneously, the phone and the doorbell rang causing the dog to bark and the kids to escape. “Girls! Get back in here and finish this homework.”

With the phone to my ear, while restraining the dog from jumping on the salesman, I abruptly opened the door. Apparently, the guy recognized my less than inviting mood because he stepped back.

Hesitantly, he handed me a brochure advertising the product he hoped to sell. If my body language had not already communicated, my words did.

“I am not interested.” The door shut a little harder than planned.

Upon reentering the kitchen, a burnt smell reminded me that chicken should be turned before the skin turns charcoal. Peeling off the bottom layer, I cursed my life. When my husband walked through the door, I didn’t bother to ask about his day but instead, exclaimed my frustrations. Looking confused he offered verbal support which I ignored as I went to the bedroom to sulk.

Patience allows a person to control life

Situations like the one described above occur in my home. I am not proud to admit this, sometimes my responses to a situation are emotional.

However, I have discovered when I practice patience, life becomes bearable, and stress doesn’t send me to bed to hide under blankets.

Self-help advice adds stress

I don’t want to join a yoga class or enroll in a mindful meditation class. There are no additional minutes to add time-consuming strategies. However, by practicing patience, stress is relegated to a backseat in my life. It exists but doesn’t control me.

The scenario below demonstrates how patience manages stress. No additional time required.

Scenario 2: strategies to manage stress

(Each number provides a life skill. Read the analysis to understand how a change in response improves daily life.)

I stood at the sink peeling potatoes and frying chicken after an extended shift at work. Cooking usually provided an opportunity to decompress [1] as the kids played in the yard. However, on this day homework proved especially difficult [2] meaning two teenagers sat at the table to keep me company [3] and asked questions as needed [4]. Nerves at the base of my skull tightened, inducing a slight headache.

“Alexa, play jazz music.”[5] Without conscience thought I moved slightly[6] with the melody and hummed along[7].

Then simultaneously, the phone and the doorbell rang causing the dog to bark and the kids to escape during the distractions[8]. I quickly explained to the caller[9] that I’d call them back and answered the door while restraining our dog from jumping on the salesman. I kindly explained he visited at an inconvenient time[10] and wished him a good day[11].

A burnt smell reminded me that chicken should be turned before the skin turns to charcoal causing me to sigh and smile[12]. Peeling off the bottom layer, I convinced myself this was a blessing in disguise because the skin added unnecessary calories[13]. When my husband walked through the door, we hugged[14] and shared stories about our day[15].

An analysis of strategies to build patience

[1] Identify activities that provide relaxation and positive energy. Some people listen to books on tape while completing chores and others sing. My husband finds chopping wood relieves pent-up energy while others workout.

[2] Place a positive spin on events. It is easy to blame someone for problems, but this behavior increases tension and creates a negative mindset.

[3] Be thankful for the people in your world. Enjoy their presence instead of wishing them away.

[4] Embrace helping others because kindness decreases blood pressure and is shown to help you live longer.

[5] Music is proven to make you smarter, happier, and more productive.

[6] The mind and body are connected thus; movement helps alleviate depression and leads to a feeling of wellbeing. Also, it increases breathing to prompt relaxation.

[7] When I hum or sing, my thoughts become focused on something other than the irritants or difficulties of my surrounding.

[8] Let somethings go. You do not have to be in control of everybody and every situation. If the homework doesn’t get done, allow natural consequences to occur.

[9] Try to multi-task less. Deal with one issue before addressing another. Remember time is on your side and some things can be handled later.

[10] Explain what is happening and how you feel instead of trying to appear superhuman.

[11] Be positive and support others. In the case of the salesman, he was simply trying to earn a living so there was no reason to reflect my anxiety on him. Besides, you will feel better by sharing a positive vibe.

[12] Always be willing to laugh at your mistakes.

[13] Find the positive in every situation.

[14] Recognize the value of personal touch. Physical contact releases oxytocin which is known as the feel-good hormone.

[15] Welcome others into your life by sharing and listening. Communication is a natural human function.

“An analysis of strategies to build patience

[1] Identify activities that provide relaxation and positive energy. Some people listen to books on tape while completing chores and others sing. My husband finds chopping wood relieves pent-up energy while others workout.

[2] Place a positive spin on events. It is easy to blame someone for problems, but this behavior increases tension and creates a negative mindset.

[3] Be thankful for the people in your world. Enjoy their presence instead of wishing them away.

[4] Embrace helping others because kindness decreases blood pressure and is shown to help you live longer.

[5] Music is proven to make you smarter, happier, and more productive.

[6] The mind and body are connected thus; movement helps alleviate depression and leads to a feeling of wellbeing. Also, it increases breathing to prompt relaxation.

[7] When I hum or sing, my thoughts become focused on something other than the irritants or difficulties of my surrounding.

[8] Let somethings go. You do not have to be in control of everybody and every situation. If the homework doesn’t get done, allow natural consequences to occur.

[9] Try to multi-task less. Deal with one issue before addressing another. Remember time is on your side and some things can be handled later.

[10] Explain what is happening and how you feel instead of trying to appear superhuman.

[11] Be positive and support others. In the case of the salesman, he was simply trying to earn a living so there was no reason to reflect my anxiety on him. Besides, you will feel better by sharing a positive vibe.

[12] Always be willing to laugh at your mistakes.

[13] Find the positive in every situation.

[14] Recognize the value of personal touch. Physical contact releases oxytocin which is known as the feel-good hormone.

[15] Welcome others into your life by sharing and listening. Communication is a natural human function.

". . . patient people tend to experience less depression and negative emotions, perhaps because they can cope better with upsetting or stressful situations.”

“. . . patient people tend to be more cooperative, more empathic, more equitable, and more forgiving.”

“. . . patient people were less likely to report health problems like headaches, acne flair-ups, ulcers, diarrhea, and pneumonia.” — A study by Fuller Theological Seminary professor Sarah A. Schnitker and UC Davis psychology professor Robert Emmons

The difficulties of life are real. Accept them and address them to create a life as you envision it can be. More time is not required, just patience.

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Life is rough! Sure, I have much to be thankful for, but many events have knocked me on my butt. Experiences have taught me how to get up, brush off the negative and continue on my day — sometimes bruised, at times weaker but overtime stronger.

Wondering what give me knowledge to offer advice? My answer, I survived. Read true life stories that provide lessons on how to fake it until you make it. Subscribe to my Blog: I AM My Best!