12 Rules for a Better Life

Ryan Holiday is a prolific writer, author, thinker and creator. He recently tweeted nine short rules for a better life. You can read those here (he’s well worth following). But his post started me thinking about my own principles for living well.

Two of our rules overlap. I read every day, and always have. And I’ve learned, after far too many years of getting angry and frustrated about things I cannot immediately change, to focus on what I can control instead of moaning about the weather, politics, the Stock Market, climate change and other people’s behaviour.

I can be a slow learner. Music and books have always been a big part of my life, but some of the guidelines below are things I stumbled on much later. I really wish I’d known them earlier, so I’m sharing them here.

And I’d love to know your rules for living a good life. Feel free to share them in the comments!

1. Pay yourself first

Now that I have built up savings for emergencies, 10% of everything I earn goes into a separate account to spend and enjoy, guilt-free. But I do this with time, as well as money. The first hour of every working day is spent writing, and working on my personal projects. Even when I have deadlines. It means I’m always moving forward with the things I really want to create, as well as the work I do to pay the bills.

2. Keep it simple, make it fun

Like most creatives, I tend to over-complicate things. I let perfectionism get in the way, and I often make things much harder than they need to be. Now, I ask these two questions constantly: How could this be easier? How could it be more fun?

3. Replace judgement with curiosity

Kindness costs nothing. It’s easy to judge others, and ourselves. Instead, try to examine why you’re feeling that way, what’s really going on underneath. Ask questions, get curious, and see if there are other narratives, other stories you could tell about whatever you’re noticing or feeling. Judgement tends to be rigid, fixed, inflexible. Curiosity is more open, more fun – and ultimately much more useful.

4. Read every day

Books are my escape, my education. They’re magical. By reading you can time travel, and get advice from thinkers who have been dead for hundreds, even thousands of years. Reading enables you to live other lives, see the world through different eyes, visit every place in existence. As well as plenty more that only ever existed in the author’s imagination.

Looking for inspiration? Here are my favourite selections for writers and for creatives in general.

5. Keep learning and growing

The alternative is becoming stale, stagnant, rigid. And who wants that?

6. Track results. Assess strategies. Adjust when needed.

It’s easy to sleepwalk through life. To keep doing the same thing, even though it’s not getting the results you want. So take time each week/month to step back and assess how you’re doing, what’s working and what’s not, and to check that you’re moving in the direction you want. Tiny course adjustments add up to huge differences, over time.

7. We become the people we spend most time with

So choose well. Seek out friends who are smarter, kinder, happier, more interesting than you. Avoid toxic people, dreamshitters and serial complainers. Instead connect with humans who inspire you, introduce you to new ideas, make you laugh. If they believe anything is possible, eventually you will too.

8. Focus on what you can control

Instead of shouting at the TV screen or at strangers on social media, focus on your own behaviour. Your own tiny corner of the world. The things you can change. And the more you do this, the wider your influence grows.

9. Cultivate a sense of awe and wonder

We live on an extraordinary planet, surrounded by beauty and full of complex, fascinating humans. We’re here for just 4000 weeks, on average. But every day could be our last. So enjoy it!

Take time to watch the sunset, to really look at a tree, to laugh with a friend or play with a child. And remember how fortunate we all are, to be having this experience. We all forget, at times. But the more you manage to stay aware of this, the richer life gets.

10. Create something, every day

A meal. A flower arrangement. A joke. A social media post that might genuinely help others, rather than just adding to the noise. Or get down some words, some sketches, a few chords of a new song. Compounded over time, this will add up to more than you could ever imagine.

11. Music makes everything better

Household chores. Exercise. Boring admin. There’s very little that can’t be improved by putting on some music. For you it might be Metallica, or Mozart. For me, a soundtrack of house music or classic soul makes me finish the most mundane and tedious of tasks with a smile.

12. In case of emergency..

When feeling stuck, low, grey or uninspired: try sleeping. If that’s not possible, go for a walk. Preferably out in nature, but round the block will do.

And if there’s no time for any of that, take a few deep breaths, consciously let go of tension in your body, then smile. It’s often all you need to shift gears.

Now over to you. What are your rules for a better life?