10 Quotes To Help Us Remain Committed In Our Marriage

It's disturbing, and even upsetting, to think that 1 in every 2 marriages end in divorce nowadays. Granted there are various different circumstances and situations that warrant marriage breakdowns, such as domestic violence and infidelity, but sadly, many result purely from either one, or both partners, simply not wanting to apply themselves to the relationship. They get bored in their relationship, they get lazy, they get selfish, and they get complacent. Relationships always start off with us trying to impress and attract our partner to be, so naturally, we are committed and accountable to both them, and the relationship itself, but as time goes on, continuing to do so becomes a chore. It's like we have this attitude that we've already won them over, so we don't need to apply such effort anymore. As individuals, quite often our needs, goals, and even our mentality and attitude, change over time, so we find that the person we initially said "I do" to, becomes a little different, as indeed we do to them. Much of the time, the direction in which we want life to go in, becomes totally different to that of our partner, so this can create some friction. This friction is formed from three things, a lack of communication, a lack of understanding, and a lack of compromise. The longer we fail to understand and compromise with our partner about eachother's aspirations, combined with a lack of communication, which becomes all too common in so many marriages, it becomes a recipe for disaster. Disagreements increase, tensions escalate, and all of a sudden, a relationship that was once based on love and commitment, becomes riddled with arguments and criticism. All the good qualities, traits, and actions, that our partner possesses, are suddenly replaced with a heap of their negatives, their bad habits, and their inadequacies, in our mind. The fun and enjoyment that was once there, completely dissolves, and is instead replaced with stress, unhappiness, and resentment. Ultimately, people can only suffer through this unhappiness and tension for so long, before they pull the pin on the relationship. All this because of failing to understand, communicate, and compromise.

Let's be honest here though, those who choose to eject themselves from a marriage, do so out of selfishness, and because they couldn't be bothered applying themselves to the hard work, dedication, and commitment, that comes with a relationship. The problem with so many people is that they place their happiness in the hands of a partner. They go into a relationship expecting their partner will make them happy, and will accommodate their needs, but that's not love. Our own happiness is completely dependent on ourselves. Marriage is not only based upon love, trust, honor, faithfulness, and care, it's also based on support. That support is about allowing our partner the freedom to pursue their goals, to accomplish what they desire, even if we may not necessarily agree with some of their direction, decisions, or actions. It's just the same in reverse, that we would appreciate our partner supporting us to achieve our personal goals also. What makes the relationship harmonious, is when couples agree on the same goal, and if that isn't possible, then their respective individual goals are at least about enhancing the marriage and/or the family's future in some way. If a relationship has gone stale, then it's just as much up to us to rejuvenate it, as it is our partner. It's not about getting our own way, or asking them to meet our needs, or asking them to change, we need to take responsibility for our own happiness. It's about honestly and openly discussing what eachother desires to achieve in the future, and how we can work together with our partner to provide one another with support. Not only that, but it's also a discussion on how one another can reignite that flame that was once there, how we can better be applying ourselves to the relationship. Go back to basics, spend time out like you were dating again, and do some activities together that you each enjoy.

If we enter into a marriage in the knowledge that there's an escape clause when things get tough, or we can simply step out of it if we don't get our way, then why bother taking vows? The idea of a marriage ceremony is a binding commitment to one another, to share an everlasting relationship that's built on love, trust, faithfulness, care, honor, and support. It's not about being there for the good times, but then running when times get tough, it's about working through all situations and circumstances together. Although there are many individuals who form a couple, who simply don't want to communicate or compromise, much of the time, we quite often also talk ourselves into perceiving it in such a way, because the truth is, we couldn't be bothered saving the relationship because we are not getting our way. Marriage and relationships are hard work, it's as simple as that. It's not hard work that lasts for a year or two, it's ongoing. It's a lifelong commitment of love, faithfulness, honor, trust, and support. If we seek the outlet of dissolving a marriage, perhaps it's not our partner that is to blame at all, it maybe just that we are too proud, selfish, and lazy, to deserve a partner at all. When you're at the alter taking your vows, don't make them mere words or wishes, otherwise you lie to yourself, you lie to your partner, and you lie in front of everyone else there to witness the marriage. Apply yourself wholeheartedly to your marriage, and like you are to your job, or your children, always be committed and dedicated to your marriage. 50% of couples have proven it can be done, not because they just were lucky in finding the right partner, but for the fact that they each worked hard on making their marriage happy and successful. Here are 10 quotes to help encourage us to remain committed to our partner, to constantly be applying ourselves to our marriage, and to remain honest to our vows.

1.- "Marriage is meant to keep people together, not just when things are good, but particularly when they are not. That’s why we take marriage vows, not wishes."

– Ngina Otiende

2.- “Relationships, marriages are ruined where one person continues to learn, develop and grow and the other person stands still.”

– Catherine Pulsifer

3.- “There is no challenge strong enough to destroy your marriage as long as you are both willing to stop fighting against each other, and start fighting for each other."

– Dave Willis

4.- "People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other’s personalities. Who wouldn’t? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that. I can make something out of it.’? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you."

- Elizabeth Gilbert

5.- “Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation."

– Oscar Wilde

6.- "Maybe you expected marriage to be perfect – I guess that’s where you and I are different. See, I thought it would be all about making mistakes, but doing it with someone who’s there to remind you what you learned along the way."

- Jodi Picoult

7.- “Don’t give up at the first signs of friction: only through clear communication, flexibility and willingness to adapt can you find a relationship that will weather the storms of life.”

– Tom Miles

8.- "You can’t just give up on someone because the situation is not ideal. Great relationships are not great because they have no problems. They are great because both people care enough about the other person to find a way to make it work.”

– Unknown

9.- "The only way love can last a lifetime is if it’s unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love."

- Stephen Kendrick

10.- “We have to recognize that there cannot be relationships unless there is commitment, unless there is loyalty, unless there is love, patience, persistence.”

– Cornel West

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