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Man Problems

A practical breakdown...

By Patrick DaughtryPublished about a month ago 4 min read

In this current age, simple survival is, and of itself a great accomplishment. This author will not limit this sentiment to men alone; this statement is applicable to people of all nations, creeds, and ethnicities no matter the background. If you are alive in this present moment; please, take a moment to applaud yourself for being a survivor. I cannot speak for the all of you, but...I for one, AM NOBODIES' VICTIM!!!! Dearest reader, wouldn't you agree? However, this article is written specifically with men in mind. The reason being? It is of my personal belief that now, more than ever, men must heed the call for action! For far too long have we played by rules, we ourselves, do not endorse. To quote, punk rock icon (Black Flag/Rollins' Band Frontman: song, "shine"), Henry Rollins:" it's time to shine, shine, shine, shine, because....


What I intend to discuss, is a series of problems that I believe are the central social issues that, we as men, face. As stated before, this is something that impacts us all, but my focus is on the experiences of men (predominately, due to my being a man). It is my intention to highlight some of the problems that we face in a complex society, seemingly deluded by challenges we face as men. It is also my aim to suggest potentional solutions to these problems. The views presented here are simply my own! This is meant solely as a means to promote future conversation concerning important social issues impacting men. The issues I intend to tackle: dependance on technology, sexuality/sexual relations in a technologically dependent society, isolation, and methods to heal ourselves emotionally.

The rise of technological advancement has surely greatly contributed to our societal development. There's no denying that. To do otherwise, is to propagate a great fallacy. Yet..., it also remains the very bane of our existence; especially, for the development of competent men. It is a tool used to create further separation; from ourselves, and from one another. Sex is sold as a commodity; a cheap imitation of what it once was. Something plastic. Before I continue, let the connection between the two be dually noted: technology is an acting avenue of capitalism, and sex is its main selling point. Even before the shutdown: " Ladies night! Ladies get in free! Men, ....20$ entry fee...". Beginning to see a correlation, are we?

As a society we have been conditioned to willfully choose instant gratification, over self-empowerment: comfort, over the benefits of growth. No longer do we seek the company of others, instead our hands are forced to rely on technology for what was once provided in the warm embrace of our lovers (see what I did there? A clever nod to masturbation! yes?! Hell, ...I thought so...)The epidemic has certainly presented the optimal circumstances for technology to be interjected as a replacement for social gatherings.

Pornography, a lifeless product, devoid of any soul essence. This too presents a major problem to the development of competent men. Sexual content, becoming ever more graphic in its presentation. The issue here lies, not being in the inherent immorality of it..., but the unreasonable expectations it sets. since my youth, I have noticed a stark contrast of the, "skin flicks" of the 90s. I believe the radical shift in what is considered to be deemed, 'socially acceptable" is due to the ease in which it is accessible. Pornography leads to deadened vitality. It is destructive in that it paints unnecessarily blurred sexually deviant pejoratives. The things that we see...are not the truth of the reality, are they? Far more often than not; attempting anything seen in a pornographic film will either 1.) potentially get you arrested, or 2.) The possible loss of a long-term romantic partner. In either case, dependance on pornography can only lead to further isolation, and depression.

Note: It is not my intention to unfairly condemn pornography; forms of erotica can certainly have its merits. It can also be used as a means of becoming more open with your partner, or even as a means of experimentation. What I am trying to bring focus to, is what happens when it becomes the sole alternative to real intimacy; when something potentially helpful turns to poison. I have no problems admitting that perhaps my own excesses in my early days lead to a lonely, pitiful existence; one lacking motivation, drive, or commitment. Take it from me, dear reader: DON'T DO IT!!!!Lest ye wish to be the man sitting in a pile of his own used wads of toilet paper, and shame. Ohhhh the shame! SSSHHAAAMMMEEEE!!!!

Simply put: What we consume internally inevitably becomes the basis of who we are in our day-to-day life. The human mind is cyclical in nature. Have you ever noticed the patterns created by intrusive thoughts? The thematic nature of these thought patterns possesses the power to turn mere possibilities into concrete realities.

Solutions: I believe it's high time we see our partners for who they truly are; not the fantasy we so desperately wish them to be. This only breeds feelings of disappointment, and/or resentment. Embrace the things that we were taught were, "flaws". Learn to laugh more. Not take ourselves so seriously. Practice discipline. Make your beds in the morning, work out, become men of character. Not egoic, narcissistic, megalomaniac content creators wielding, "I love you " as a weapon for personal gain. Dare to be different, by reinventing the notion of what it means to be a "gentleman".

Dress nice, learn self-respect; true love begins with the self, and it extends into all life. If one can only master self acceptance first. Combative sports are fine, but how about supplement it with learning poetry, or other subtle forms of self- expression? In conclusion, gentleman be men of character. Be somebody worth believing in. Be the hero of your story.


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