If It’s Mine

My dad had a lot of stories.

He told us about Brujos and Bultos*; of a demon dog and the Headless Horseman; and of wild adventures he had with his brothers we could hardly believe. But some precious few were less fantastical, just the simple experiences of growing up. One such story he told was when he and his Abuelo, his grandfather, were out hunting.

They were out in the back country near Rawlins, Wyoming. While driving, they saw a deer just off the road, grazing in a thicket.

Dad asked, ‘Why not go after that one?’

“No,” Said his Abuelo, “it's not for me. If it's mine, it will be in the road."

His Abuelo explained that the deer knows it must be food for the hunter, but it does not really want to die. Therefore, it presents a challenge: it stands in the road of the hunter to say, 'Here I am,' but the hunter must fulfill his own role, which is to accept the deer's challenge and pursue it. That is why, when the kill is complete, the hunter thanks the deer for dying so that he can live.

I am paraphrasing, but the concept in the story has stuck with me. I think it has endured because it resonates with the conversations I’d have with Dad on Christianity, life, and belief. It is this idea that the Lord Jesus provides what we need when we need it. Like the daily manna given to the Israelites in the wilderness, or the stream where Elijah camped; these things were provided 'in the road,' but the recipients still had to gather and accept the gift, and the reception of it prompted thanksgiving to God.

In our discussions, we related the idea especially to the story of Abraham. The Lord told Abraham, "By your wife Sarah, I will give you a son, and I will make you the father of a great nation.” Doing this, God gave Abraham a road to follow: a son through Sarah. Abraham believed this promise, even though he and Sarah were old. But after years of waiting and walking that road, Abraham and Sarah grew impatient because the pregnancy they were hunting for did not present itself.

They looked away from the road set before them and saw in the thicket their young handmaiden Hagar, so, as was customary at the time, they decided that Abraham should have a child with her. Their choice was socially acceptable, and their choice did produce a son, but because that son was off the road, he grew to become a trouble to the promised son of Sarah.

Through my conversations with Dad, I can see the application in my own life. Like Abraham had a promise, I learned that I have been shown the road to follow which is, at its simplest, to believe in God’s grace through faith in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, and if I accept that grace, then God works in me to make me more like Christ: speaking truth with compassion, loving God, loving people, and producing ‘good fruit’ which are those things that push me towards a closer relationship with God and a more spiritual mode of living.

But I must have patience and persistence, because though the path ahead isn’t complicated, it is narrow and hard. Because sometimes the road goes on and on, like waiting for a child; or sometimes it’s straight up a mountain, like working hard to make ends meet; or sometimes trees block the path, like the death of a father.

Whether he knew it or it, Dad taught me through our conversations that whether it calls for patience, or endurance, or working through grief, these things are mine because they are 'in the road'- The good and the bad present themselves to me to pursue, to work through, and accept, so that when God has been faithful through them, I may grow in faith and give thanks to the Lord Jesus Christ for dying that I may live.

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*Brujos and Bultos.

These are figures in Spanish folklore. A Brujo/a is a witch, a mischievous individual who practices evil on their neighbors, usually with little or no cause. A Bulto is a kind of shadow figure, often malevolent.

This reflection is dedicated to Michael LoVato, Jan 25, 1956 - May 24, 2023; thank you for the conversations, I’ll miss them.