Father's Day 2023

I've never had a lot to say on Father's Day. Before this year, it was a day I completely ignored save for the occasional wishing of a happy day to friends of mine who were dads. It just wasn't a big deal to me. But I'm just one in hundreds of thousands of kids whose dads weren't worth a buck... or even a penny. And majority of my friends growing up had dads that weren't much more or were worth even less than mine. It's gotta be a generational thing, right?

To be fair, Father's day started meaning a whole lot more a few years ago when my dad came into my mom's life. It was kind of a tragic story on his side, and mom's story wasn't much happier. He was a lot younger than her - and only a couple years older than me but he acted like an old man. I blame the trauma. And about a decade later, every year that passes he gets closer to yelling at kids: "GET OFF MY LAWN!"

As funny as that on-going familial joke goes, he's really the best. You wouldn't know he has a personality, or jokes, or is actually very kind unless he gets to know you and he likes you. Otherwise he's just the quiet guy married to a batty, easy-going, spontaneous cougar who lives life on the edge. He's been married to mom for what feels like forever.

And I realized a few years ago that this dude supported me, cared for me, protected me, took my side against my mom for me (standing up to mom can be a dangerous thing to do for anyone but him), provided for me, and loved me more like a daughter than anyone else had in my life. It was about 6 years ago that I realized that I had a man in my life I could count on and feel safe with. And that moved me. Because he was the first one I could feel comfortable asking for help with ANYTHING. And even if he wasn't able to help me in a way I wanted, he would always find a way to help me in ways I needed. And absolutely no one can argue that he's not my dad because of his age or the fact that he came into my life as an adult.

Not even the law any more - because as of last year he adopted me. And this is my first year as a daughter who actually has a dad in every meaning of the word. I feel like I got the better end of the bargain on that.

Even though I had a good role model for the last 11 years it didn't stop me from making mistakes and having a couple of kids with a couple of losers. And when I adopted my niece, I felt I was letting her down because... well I could be her mom easy, but I didn't have that male counterpart to help me. Luckily, my kids have their auntie Jess who is literally their second mom, and their Uncle Mike, who for the better part of their little short lives has been their father figure. And even though sometimes I want to strangle my brother - I couldn't have asked for a better role model on what a man should be for my kids.

Well...except for my soul mate. Who has stepped up as the role of father to my babies with absolutely no hesitation, no fear, no exceptions, and no ultimatums. I hope I'm doing him justice with his son. And I never once thought I would be the mother of four children... and let alone never did I think I would the mother of four children who have a wonderful father.

And I can't help but reflect as this Father's Day approaches, how blessed I am. I have 3 wonderful men in my life, who are father figures to either me or my children. And I can't believe how lucky my kids are to have them around. My boys will learn how to be the best of men looking up to the three of them, and my girls are learning what happy, healthy relationships are like, and they are all learning what love means and looks like. Real love. Family love. They have examples of communication, trust, affection and respect look like. Something many in my generation didn't get to have.

My kids aren't wondering 'why this' or feeling like they aren't enough. They are being taught that blended families don't mean 'broken' families. Thank you for filling my home with love and laughter. And being the best dads you can possibly be.