Outdoor and Socially Distant

I am like many other women who when she was a young girl always dreamed about her wedding. I was married once before, and have a beautiful 18-year-old daughter because of that union. When I was married the first time it was during the war in 2003 so our wedding plans shifted when my ex-husband was called to duty and we ended up getting married in my mother's living room two days before he was off to Kuwait. The marriage sadly ended after a couple of years. We were young, and life happens to the best of us.

I knew that I always wanted a real wedding if I ever had the chance again. Fast forward many years later, I met my husband on a dating site. Six months into a whirlwind romance he got down on one knee and proposed, right after lockdown. So, the engagement ring had been lost in a jewelry store that shut down along with the world. But I didn't need a ring, I just needed my love, the partner I had been waiting for, the love I knew I deserved after many years of being single and dealing with tumultuous crazy relationships.

We did not know what our wedding would look like in the face of a pandemic, and we also did not want to put anyone at risk. So many couples had their weddings canceled and we didn’t know when the world would be right again to plan for the future. I know I just wanted my groom to be my forever and he wanted me as his. So, in October 2020 we put together a small, intimate outdoor wedding. And I'd like to share with you how we did that.

First off we knew we wanted friends and family at the wedding. We completely respected those who could not attend out of fear. We sent out invitations explaining that we decided that we would prefer to hold two wedding receptions and if there was anyone with symptoms they should not attend. The first half of about 20 people came to our wedding ceremony in a local park near where we live. We paid the $25 permit fee and chose a small section of the park overlooking a pond. Everyone was socially distant and wearing a mask. We didn’t know if holding a wedding at a park would attract people, but it turned out anyone that was there watched from a distance and applauded us. A woman I had never met greeted me as I came out of my mother’s car. She’d seen my husband to be and a few guests and said, “Well honey we’ve been waiting for you.” Getting well wishes from strangers turned out to be an extra nice part of the day.

The wedding was streamed live on Facebook so anyone who was not attending and anyone who was not at the ceremony, but we would see later, would at least be able to view the ceremony. I have friends out of state, and it was a great way for them to participate as well. After the beautiful ceremony where we exchanged our vows, where I felt the most beautiful and more on top of the world than I ever have, we made it back to our home where the family members that had just attended the ceremony were waiting in our backyard to greet us. It was a 2 hour reception for family only, we had pre-wrapped sandwiches and individualized sides, a beautiful wedding cake, framed photos of my husband and I all around, and souvenirs I put together myself. There was no dance floor, low 80s pop music played in the background, a video slideshow of us played on TV in our living room so people could see it when they passed by on their way to the bathroom. We had hand sanitizing stations and wipes readily accessible.

We had our first dance, had a couple of speeches, we cut the cake. Then we said farewell to the family.

On to ceremony #2 with our friends. A group of about the same about 20 arrived for the second half. Out came the second set of pre-wrapped meals, cupcakes, chocolate covered strawberries and other assorted sweets. A second round of speeches, our second first dance. Two hours later it was all over.

It was a long day but it was beautiful, a lot of fun, very special, and always safe. We will never forget that day. Our backyard was transformed with decorations and lights and it was everything we wanted it to be. Maybe one day in five years, in ten years we might have a big bash, or we might not need it and take a great trip. Who knows? We had a very small honeymoon in Connecticut, a couple of hours away, spent a couple of quiet days walking through an outdoor museum and outdoor dining and romancing in nature.

Weddings have changed. They may never look the same again because there is no “when the pandemic is over." We will always be living with some sort of after affect, whether we were directly affected by it or mentally affected. I believe in some way we have all developed a need to keep things simple, to recognize small joys when we find them, always staying safe keeping the ones we love most close to our hearts but far in distance. Love has been redefined and how we express it has changed as well.

Was it the wedding I always dreamed of? No, it was not. But you know something, it was truly the wedding of my dreams.