Marriage is Still an Option

Getting Married: A Worthwhile Choice

Imagine this scenario: a man in his mid to late twenties is living with his twenty-three-year-old girlfriend. Both of them have great jobs. Each morning, they go to work and come home, spending quality time together. They enjoy outings to their favorite pub, watch movies late into the night, and fall asleep on the couch. The girlfriend eventually heads back to their room while he stays sleeping on the couch. This pattern continues until the sparks start to fade, and a week later, she decides to move out because she wanted a ring and felt that he had become complacent.

Now, let's consider a second scenario: a man in his mid-twenties living with two roommates. A woman in her early twenties has just moved out with her best friend. The man and woman meet at a friend's birthday party and instantly click. Two years later, the man finds himself browsing engagement rings while she's away attending a conference. When she returns, they spend the evening sharing stories about their time apart. He listens intently, but he keeps his plan to propose a secret. After dropping her off at home, he can't stop thinking about her and the excitement of getting married and living together. The following day, he purchases the ring and, on the day after, he takes her to their favorite restaurant and proposes. The woman ecstatically accepts and eagerly puts on the ring before he has a chance to place it on her finger.

The key difference between these two couples is the element of surprise and anticipation in the second scenario. The first couple lacked commitment, and as a result, their initial happiness dwindled over time. In contrast, the second couple embraced the excitement of a future together, solidified by their decision to get married.

Currently, I find myself in an age range where people flaunt their engagement rings, wedding dresses, or the prospect of having a new child. Couples who are married often seem happier than those who choose to simply live together. However, it's important to acknowledge that social media tends to present an idealized version of reality, as we all strive to portray ourselves in the best light.

According to relationship experts, there are several reasons why getting married is beneficial. Firstly, trust works both ways. If a long-term relationship remains unmarried, there might be underlying reasons for it. One partner might be uncertain if their significant other is the right person for them, while the other may carry emotional baggage from a previous dramatic relationship. Secondly, the commitment of marriage encourages couples to fight fair. Neither partner wants the relationship to end in divorce, so they are motivated to work through their issues and maintain their bond. Without the commitment of marriage, the option to walk away can often linger in the background. Thirdly, being married means you are deeply involved in each other's lives. I am experiencing this firsthand with my fiancé, who has been away in San Francisco for a week. Yesterday, we spent the majority of the day on the phone, mostly because we miss each other. Additionally, for the first time in a while, my partner found it challenging to fully enjoy his time off and explore without his adventure buddy (me) by his side. We share numerous experiences together, attending parties, weddings, and casual hangouts. Fourthly, marriage fosters mutual respect. While interfaith or intercultural relationships can present challenges, being married often alleviates tension because both partners already have a good understanding of what to expect from one another. Finally, discussing difficult topics is crucial in a marriage. Thankfully, my partner and I had these discussions early on in our relationship, allowing us to determine whether we were compatible and should continue dating. These five factors play a significant role in making a marriage work, but there are other considerations as well.

According to USA Today, it is generally cheaper to live together compared to being married. The cost savings can be substantial, including lower rent expenses, shared grocery costs, and the ability to support each other financially when it comes to raising children. Married couples also tend to be more likely to extend help to their neighbors, possibly because marriage fosters empathy and sympathy. Additionally, children whose parents are not divorced or separated often experience greater stability in their own relationships.

In conclusion, getting married is still a perfectly normal and worthwhile choice. Many individuals choose to live with their significant others without pursuing marriage because they feel they lack a compelling reason to take the next step. However, the benefits of marriage, including trust, fair fights, deep involvement in each other's lives, mutual respect, and open discussions about difficult topics, contribute to a stronger and more committed relationship. It's important to remember that each couple's journey is unique, and societal norms or social media portrayals may not reflect the full reality of individual experiences. Ultimately, the decision to get married should be based on the unique circumstances and desires of the couple involved.