Things to Know Before Saying I Do

Marriage is a serious commitment! It is the most life-changing commitment there is out there. Especially, if you do not live together beforehand. It changes the way you live, and you need to adjust to each other’s lifestyles. It is no easy task, so before you stand in front of your friends and family there are a few things you need to know/ have with your partner:

Love: this is the most obvious thing, you need to love the person you are with, but more importantly you need to love the person you become when you are with that person. Make sure that your partner has never attempted to change who you are.

Commitment: through the thick and thin. You have now entered into a vow, a promise to love the person no matter what. You need to be there for when they fall, you need to support them even when it becomes difficult. The word Divorce should not be in your vocabulary. Yes, it’s true 50% of couples end up in divorce, but if you take it off the table during every argument, your relationship is most likely to last.

Trust: believe in the person. You need to rely on this person to help you when you need it. You need to trust that they will be there for you at your most vulnerable and that they will not walk away and sleep with someone else. If you have the slightest doubt in your mind that you will cheat on them, then end the relationship. That is not a healthy amount of trust. Trust comes from knowing and showing the person that you love them.

Learn how to fight: you will fight more than once in your relationship, but what is important is knowing how the other person fights, do they fight dirty by belittling you? Do they mention past mistakes? Or do they see the topic of argument as the fight? Remember, it is you and your partner against the issue. You are not against each other. When you fight does your partner need space? Do you? Or do you want to face all conflict head on?

Forgive and forget: do it if you mean it. Forgiveness comes easy, but truly forgiving someone might be a bit difficult. What is true forgiveness? It is when you say I forgive you and you forget about the fight, but know that you came back stronger. It does not mean that you bring it back up in the next fight. When you forgive someone it means that you have let go of the issues that you had.

Intimacy: is key. Have a date night at least once a month, go out and do something, do not just curl up on the couch and watch a movie. Continue dating each other, treat each other and have a healthy amount of sex.

Selflessness: not selfishness. You are entering a marriage, which means you are putting someone before your needs. If your loved one is in the hospital, you go and see them, you hold their hand and tell them that everything will be okay, you drop everything to go and be with that person. You do little things that make them happy like sweeping the floor, buying them flowers, opening the door, buying them their favorite snack when you are out and about.

Respect: do not disrespect your love in front of anyone. If your partner is getting into an argument with their family, you need to stand up with them and stand behind them at all times. When arguing with each other do not call each other names, treat each other with respect.

Friendship: if you guys are not best friends then you are doing your relationship wrong. You tell each other everything, you share gossip, you share interests and do things together. This is the person you need to be your true self with and not put on a mask every time you see them.

Finances: are a must. Discuss all your finances with your love. Financial reasons are the top reason for divorce. Do not keep secrets from each other, especially when it comes to money. Sometimes, in a relationship you will have one person looking after the finances and the other just lives their best life. What me and my partner do, is that we do a financial check in every month. We set a time and date for this and we look to see what money we are spending, if we are spending too much or not enough. This keeps the open communication going and then we avoid arguments.