Love in the Time of Pandemic;

Some things come with a clear manual; cutting out a pattern, threading a bobbin, putting together an outfit. Others you just have to feel it out by heart, like designing the custom dress of your dreams, or finding new love in the time of pandemic. Any new project inevitably brings a ton of questions to circle your brain at night; Will it be worth the hassle? Am I even doing this right? I like to think that I’m the type of person that achieves whatever I set my heart to, since it’s gotten me through some of the most difficult times in life and helped me create my happiest memories. Over the past year I took up two major projects that kept me up late some nights, but even when the questions began to circle the brain, I felt nothing but reassurance. This is the story of how, in 2020, I met the love of my life and said yes to the dress designed and made by my hand.

I moved to Richmond Virginia a few years back following a promising new job offer. My mom traveled from Mexico to help me move out of my brother’s Texas home, where I had just finished my masters degree, a hard fought but oh so satisfying to win battle. While settling into my new city, the relatives of an old acquaintance offered to lend me a hand with some of the more difficult tasks of moving, like buying my first car and leasing my first apartment. A quick friendship was born, and discovered a curious shared interest.

In passing conversations I mentioned to my friend that I wished I could learn how to use a sewing machine and make myself a really cute blouse, better than what my budget usually allowed me to buy. Her eyes lit up as she offered me a fully working Brother machine she had lying around. Her mom, an avid sewist, had recently upgraded to a new machine and left her old machine at my friend’s house. She had no use for it itself, and though used for years, was in pristine shape and came with a whole starter kit. I happily adopted it on the spot. My friend taught me all the ins and outs of the machine, how to choose and cut the fabric, and set me on the path to my first couple success stories. Comfy PJs, a long blouse, a winter wool dress. Finally I could make my budget work with my tastes. I dared to dream about where I could go with this new hobby. I’d seen more and more creators promote their work on social media and some actually found success in their own niche. Perhaps….? Or maybe just keep it for myself, make it flashy and luxe, maybe start my own line...what if I could make my own wedding dress one day? Like I heard in a movie once “you mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger darling”. A few more small projects came and went, but between moves and roommates the machine stayed quiet for some time. But that was ok, it was a time when my career was in full swing and I was finding new hobbies, and new friendships.

But of course, 2020 had to come around.

Home office quarantine was in full swing.

And my roommate recently found out she was pregnant.

“Well”, I thought to myself, “no better time to move out than now right?”

Thankfully I quickly found a listing I liked and I could work with until I found something better post-pandemic..whenever that might be. I was going to be renting out a bedroom in a shared house with other roommates, though thankfully I shared the second story with only one other person. I met him briefly when I toured the house and my future room. He was several years younger than me, but friendly and easygoing, seeming to get along fine with both the landlord and the downstairs roommate about his same age. He was fresh out of university and even fresher to the city, having recently moved from, you guessed it, Texas, following a promising new job and settling down in the room across the hallway from mine just months before lockdowns began. We also found out that both he and I were born in Mexico and were not only native and fluent spanish speakers, but had also studied other foreign languages. With a twinkle in his eyes he excitedly rambled about traveling to Italy for work in the before-times and something about machines he worked with as an engineer...maybe Neighbor here might make a good friend to have while living here. Little did I know, he’d be changing my life almost as soon as I moved in a couple weeks after that first encounter.

I pulled up to my new house on a warm Saturday mid-morning in June, my car full with things going into my new room. This had been the 3rd trip of the day, most of the heavier things already brought upstairs earlier that day thanks to a friend from the gym that had lent me a hand. I stumbled inside carrying a box full of odds and ends, and was greeted by my new neighbor pouring himself some coffee in the kitchen. With a smile and “cheers” gesture he welcomed me to my new home and asked if I needed a hand with bringing anything inside. As it turned out, there was a desk wedged in the back seat that had been a hassle and a half to carry down and slide inside the car, so an extra set of hands were more than welcome. Together we moved the seats, jimmied out the desk, and carefully carried it into the house and up the stairs to the mess that was my new room and found the perfect corner for my desk to set up my home office. He brought a couple more boxes up for me and we soon found ourselves back in the kitchen talking over coffee and sharing our life stories, one topic branching off into a new conversation. Now don’t get me wrong, I can talk you to death about aerial dancing, or Excel macros, or living abroad, or type of stitching. However, it takes me a little bit of time to get comfortable enough to open up to conversations like these, which doesn’t exactly translate into making friends quickly and easily.

But not with Neighbor.

We hit it off almost instantly, like two old friends finally catching up after a long time. He spoke perfect spanish and made me laugh with some colloquialisms I had not heard in a very long time. Most of my family was still living far away from me in Mexico, and Virginia being Virginia, it wasn’t exactly common to find a fellow spanish-speaker, much less during times of pandemic. The minutes ticked by, and I realized chatting with Neighbor over coffee was like a breath of fresh air for my introverted self as we shared the nostalgia of our moms’ home cooking and talked about how much he missed authentic street tacos. Suddenly I perked up; I KNEW of a place with such the thing, a little trailer stationed in the corner of a parking lot that I used to frequent when I first moved to Richmond. As soon as I mentioned it his eyes lit up.

“You’re telling me,” he said “you know where to get actual tacos al pastor..right here in this city?!”

No sooner was I done saying where it was that he hit me with quite the effective and sneaky pickup line.

“Well hey, I haven’t had any breakfast, and it’s almost lunch time… we should go get some tacos!”

First thing: how does one say no to tacos? Second thing: just in the few short hours of meeting this boy I had one of the most engaging and charming conversations I had all year with anyone. And sure, I needed to organize my room and put away all my crap. Maybe a little lunch with a good neighbor would do me some good, we’ll be eating outside anyways. I agreed to the offer and off we went for tacos together!

It must have been several hours before we returned to the house from our date..I mean lunch break. We sat on a nearby picnic table and had a delicious meal as we talked and talked, on and on. Nearly all traces of those initial jitters and awkwardness I tend to get when meeting someone new were gone by the time we scarfed down the last bite. He listened intently and made me laugh with silly puns and comments but also kept me on my toes with thought provoking questions and interesting observations. Maybe it was his childlike joy, the charm in his humor, the way he smiled with his eyes, all I knew was I felt oddly disarmed yet comfortable and myself when around Neighbor. I didn’t see him much after arriving back home, though before going our separate ways to go about the rest of our day we agreed we should definitely hang out again soon. He disappeared into his room with a cheeky wink saying “I’ll see ya around, neighbor!”.

Usually moving in makes for a couple of very busy days, and yet somehow I kept bumping into Neighbor right when we didn’t have anything going on and ended up doing something together. Only a few days after our first...taco trip, I found myself sitting across from him with a bowl of pho followed by a stop by a gelato place. The gelato somehow turned into an afternoon stroll down a pretty neighborhood sidewalk. The golden glow of the afternoon sun shone through the branches as we walked side by side, hands nearly grazing past each other… “Wait a minute,” I thought to myself, “this walk sure is taking quite a bit of time. Is this normal? This is how friendships are made right?”. We turned a 180 and headed back to the car, but the thought still lingered then and during the week. Why did it feel so easy to be around him, like while he helped me assemble some furniture in my room, or while we went to the supermarket together to cook together at home (that’s right, he also cooks), or when we made plans to spend the upcoming Friday down by the river.

The river date..err, day we woke up before midday and packed a bag with river-going essentials. Even though I had been living in Richmond for much longer and had been the one recommending places to go, this time it was him that knew the perfect entrance and hiking trail to arrive at the perfect spot along the James River, as it was my first time visiting the river. We spent a majority of the day there, soaking up sun sand and water, sharing more stories and laughs. When the sun became too hot we headed home and prepared a Mexican shrimp cocktail just like how our moms used to make, eating outdoors on the balcony of the house overlooking the garden while the fireflies began to come out to play. He somehow let slip that years ago he had been a choreographer and knew all types of latin dance. Of course the next logical thing to do was have him prove it. After some furniture was cleared out of the way he refreshed my memory of how to do the steps, and then we danced and danced and danced for what seemed like an hour, though when you’re getting charmed out of your socks it gets more difficult to gauge time. Exhausted and out of breath, but not wanting the day to end, we settled on closing the night with a movie. The longer the movie went, the closer we seemed to be getting, ultimately curling up next to him as I put my head on his shoulder. The movie, and the night, drew to a close, and I could tell something was on his mind. I could feel his heart pounding and the tension was thick in the air. Finally, the dam broke and he admitted he didn’t want the night to end; he was falling for me and wasn’t looking for a summer fling, but didn’t want to make our living arrangement awkward, especially considering we were still neighbors and I had BARELY finished moving in. But here’s the thing. I was falling for him too. Here was a gentleman through laying down all his cards on the table. We talked about relationships and love for a while, about past experiences and hopes for the future. And yet every priority we privately had for our future relationship seemed to align on paper. We both were looking for our soulmate, the type of person you take home to meet your parents and then THEY fall in love with them as well, as well as someone to see the world with, go on adventures, and ultimately start a family with. We agreed that we’d give it a try so long we stayed honest with each other. I couldn’t believe my luck as we said our goodnights and I took the 7 ft trek back to my room, where I laid in bed smiling ear to ear. A week later, he officially asked me to be his girlfriend.

Seven fantastic and magical months later, we were still together and in love and going strong. We still lived where we had met, albeit now without roommates other than each other. Over the winter break I had visited my family back in Texas, and over that time my mom helped me mend a heavy skirt I had been meaning to do a while back but never go around to it. After coming back, I felt an itch I hadn’t felt in a while. The dance studio I went to was hosting a photoshoot in the spring for its members, and who doesn’t want a shiny new outfit to get pictures taken in? Plus, warmer weather was soon to be around the corner, and I wanted more cute outfits to take with me on a weekend beach getaway. So when February rolled in, after a long hiatus, I dusted off my sewing machine, had my boyfriend find me the user manual online, and we headed to my favorite fabrics and crafts store for inspiration. I decided on a golden goddess bodysuit for the suit in metallic gold pleather, complete with golden lasso, diadem, and armlets. In order to create the individual pieces of the suit my boyfriend and I devised a plan to wrap my body in plastic wrap and then duct tape. This gave me a blank canvas for me to draw a perfectly tailored bodysuit, and then cut out into its individual sections. This reminded us of a very important step: keep your scissors sharp! Sharp scissors are your friends and do what you tell them to do, dull ones do whatever they want to in spite of you. In the end, I had the patterns to cut my fabric out of, my machine was calibrated to the right zig-zag stitch, and slowly but surely a suit worthy of Olympus began to take form.

In the meantime, I happened to find an online store that is essentially the one-stop-shop superstore for any and all fabrics I could dream of. I found metallic dragon scales, glittery and shimmery pinks, satins and stretchy velvets. As you might have guessed, they found their way into my shopping cart and then to my home, and I had big plans for all of them! With each new design and fabric came with its own bit of research. A two piece velvet bikini, for example, forced me to tread slower when stitching it together and creating the straps because the fabric would slide and fold against itself easily. Another outfit had me questioning my geometric and spatial reasoning when cutting the fabric because my brilliant design choice included a hidden twist and flip of the fabric across the chest, so the section of the left was the inverted mirror image of the section on the right. A keen eye and steady hand was needed before sinking my rotary fabric cutter. By the time the first warm weekend of the year appeared in late March, my boyfriend had a weekend beach getaway planned and ready for us, and I had a brand new bikini dubbed the Pink Unicorn ready to put on and show off in. A few weeks later, another super cute bikini with a high waist, set in yellow stretch velvet with black accents; the Bumble Bee. Then came time for the Golden Goddess bodysuit, followed by another bodysuit with cutouts on the side with a red scaly pattern fit for a dragon queen. Every new suit made me more confident to try a new one with more embellishments complexities; I started thinking zippers, buttons, embroidery, silks even. And just in time to, since my next greatest project was about to reveal itself to me.

It had long ago dawned on me that I had won the lottery in meeting my boyfriend, the friendly neighbor from across the hallway. As the months flew by the closer we became and the more we both realized we had found our soulmate. So though it wasn’t in a grand or noisy manner and in the comfort of our home, it didn’t surprise me when my love told me that he felt the calling to get married together and if I would like to marry him. Elated, giddy and excited, I said absolutely! My next project immediately became obvious, not just to me, but to him as well. Wedding dresses can run for as expensive as the venue itself. Not to mention, no pre-made dress from the store would satisfy my taste. But, the solution was simple, I could feel it in my heart: I would design and build my very own wedding dress!

Within weeks I had a pattern I liked with some edits of my own. Not long after, the perfect fabric. The outside would be ivory satin with a silk lining on the inside, beautiful neckline, and my favorite detail, an illusion open back adorned with heavy beaded lace and satin buttons running up the spine to hide an invisible zipper. However, before I got down to making the dress, I needed to make a mockup of the design. I found a cheap cotton fabric that was easy and quick to cut and made the size adjustments necessary for what I estimated would be my final dress’ measurements. The result was a perfectly fitting mock wedding dress that had me cheering for myself and daydreaming about the big day. Sadly, the one who had always cheered me on with all my projects wouldn’t be able to see the progress I would be making, though magically despite living together he had avoided catching any glimpse of the dress or fabrics or adornments. Thankfully, I could show my mom and sister the progress as well as my future mother in law! As I sharpened my scissors and roller, spread out my cutting mat, and plugged in my machine, I realized I would be needing the encouragement. I had never worked with satin or silk or embroidery, and each one has particular needs or dangers. By all indications, the different textures and weights were going to make it difficult to sew together and not have it look baggy or scrunched up. This in fact happened to all the sections for the long skirt, leading to hand-stitching the border to get the two fabrics perfectly flat before sewing them on the machine. And even then, mistakes can happen, like when I sewed a section of the skirt in reverse, the sides sewn to the tops, leading to an “oh no..oh nO...OH NONONONONO!” that my fiance heard from upstairs where he was hiding out for a few hours. The sleeves in ilusion fabric were a pain in the neck too, going through a design change that wasn’t then relayed to my hands, which then proceeded to cut out the wrong design, not once, not twice, but three times!

It won’t be a while until it’s finished and ready for the big day. There have been some nights that have left me fuming in frustration, a little bit of venting to my wonderful fiance gives me the reassurance I need to tackle the dress again the next day. At the same time as I wish it was already done and ready for me to wear and gush about it, I feel the whole process of meticulously planning every detail and beating every challenge that arises has made my wedding dress the most rewarding creative project I have ever done. Most of it will be completed by my hand, but I plan on having my mom help me sew buttons for the back of the dress, so it’ll have a little of her in it as well. It’ll truly be a labor of love, marking a turning of a page in my life and sending me off from a princess into a queen. All a girl needed was a heart full of love, a machine full of thread, and an idea.