EXPOSING THE BIGGEST SECRET

When I was a child, my mother would always chastise me and my sisters if breakfast or dinner wasn't ready in time or if the food didn't taste good. Is that how you'll act in your husband's home, she'll ask you every time.

We learned how to cook well and quickly as a result of my mother's wrath. If the food is not prepared by the time Daddy gets home and he rejects it because it tastes salty or peppery, we will be in even more trouble the rest of the week.

So I always tell my mother that the food was not prepared properly or that she didn't cook in a timely manner whenever I hear our married neighbors arguing in a loud voice.

whenever I say so. I never understood what my mother meant when she said, "That is not it," because I was raised to believe that arguments between couples only occurred when the food was late or tasteless.

When I got married, my sweetheart husband was quick to notice my culinary prowess. I can whip up three different meals quickly, and they'll all taste delicious. (Another day, another story.).

Our first teamwork involved deciding where to live because we were working in a different state at the time. After that, childbirth, a health issue that prevented me from seeing my daughter until she was less than one month old for nearly a month, and other things came along, we worked as a team and made the difficult decisions together. I told my husband one evening that I had mistakenly believed that marriage was only about cooking delicious meals and that there were also difficult choices to be made.

When you look at marriage from a distance, as in the happy-ever-after of newlyweds or those with successful marriages, you will see that it is sweet, but when you actually get married, you will find that there is more to it than what is behind number six.

Few people groom themselves for the realities of marriage, despite many preparing so well for the romantic aspects. Do you realize that the challenging aspects of marriage are more important than the romantic moments?

Not a lack of romance, but rather a couple's inability to persevere through the most challenging aspects of marriage, is what ultimately destroys marriages.

There are some difficult aspects of marriage that you are unlikely to hear about.

Don't get me wrong; you need those ingredients to have a long and happy marriage, but you also need to be beautiful or handsome in heart, hardworking, humble, respectful, good in bed, and a good cook.

What I was not told was that being a wife entails showing up every day even if you feel worn out, making difficult decisions even when you are unsure if they are the right ones, and working tirelessly even when it seems like it will never end.

You need to be ready for whatever challenges life throws your way so you don't back down when they do. These challenges could include delayed childbearing, job loss, relocation, in-law problems, financial crisis, trying times, or spiritual challenges.

The most difficult aspects of marriage require the most preparation, including many others. Marriage is a lifetime journey, whereas a wedding is just a one- or two-day event.

Have you been changed by the renewal of your mind to face any challenge in marriage when it comes? This goes beyond the excitement of married life and the elaborate wedding ceremony.

I'm not trying to scare you; I'm just letting you know that marriage requires a lot of work. This is one of those truths that you might not want to hear or have been told. It can be challenging to find the right partner to marry, but enduring a marriage while dealing with daily challenges is even more challenging.

There will be numerous occasions when you must face reality while keeping your emotions in check.

When preparing for the romantic aspects of your relationship, also prepare your mind for the most difficult aspect so you can endure having done everything when the flood comes when the rain pours and the wind howls upon your union.

To put it another way, when you decide to get married, decide to work as a team with your spouse through every challenge and create a happy, healthy, and lasting marriage each and every day.