a privilege called love

I think being in love with someone who’s equally in love with you is an underrated privilege that’s not talked about enough. If you are one of those people, congratulations. I was never one of you.

I was always the type of person who couldn’t care less about love and relationships. Until lately I feel tired of not having a permanent home. I’m tired of going out with someone I don’t have deep feelings for. But I’m also tired of being taken for granted by the ones I do have feelings for.

I’m tired of this endless karma cycle of treating someone who genuinely loved me poorly, while chasing after someone who didn’t care about me after all. So yes, I’ve been an Anahaim but also been a Backburner.

I never realized how lucky people who are in love are, until a couple of days ago when I talked to a friend about his six-year relationship. He spoke passionately about how still deeply in love he is despite being in the relationship for so long.

He was talking about how lucky he is to have felt the feeling of being madly in love. He perfectly described something I have never felt before. And in that moment I knew, not many people are lucky enough to experience that kind of love.

As someone who usually keeps my feelings to myself and doesn’t show vulnerability, I value romantic relationships a lot. Because a person who seems to be heartless is the one who loves the most.

A person who seems to be emotionless is someone who feels the most. Deep down, I was always a hopeless romantic. So when I do feel love, I appreciate it. But here’s the thing:

The more you are familiar with something, the less you value it. The easier something comes to you, the higher its chance to be taken for granted. Maybe that’s the reason there’s a saying “easy come easy go”. When love comes too easy, the less you value it. For the people like me who rarely experience this thing called love, we highly value it.

We crave for these things. But for those who find love easily or jump from one relationship to another, they might forget how special it is. Sometimes people who are used to these things, took them for granted. They forget that it is such a blessing to be able to experience these things. They forget that not everyone is blessed with such ease.

So if you have a lover, and are lucky enough to experience love to its fullest, take a moment to think about it. Be grateful because not everyone gets to feel what you feel. Be grateful because you have a place to come home. Be grateful because you get to be vulnerable in a world where you have to pretend everything’s fine.

Be grateful because in a life full of uncertainty, you have one thing that you are certain about. Be grateful because despite your imperfections, someone not just accepts you for who you are, but also celebrates you. Be grateful because in a world where it is very easy to be misunderstood, someone truly understands you. Lastly, be grateful to have the privilege that no one talks about.

But I’m also tired of being taken for granted by the ones I do have feelings for. Lastly, be grateful to have the privilege that no one talks about.. Be grateful because you get to be vulnerable in a world where you have to pretend everything’s fine.I was always the type of person who couldn’t care less about love and relationships.