Longevity logo

The Living Deaf

The Trails and Tribulations of Subtitles

By Bobbie BobertsPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
Like

Every morning I wake up feeling (as I’m sure many of us do) like a Neanderthal on the dawn of mankind’s leap towards civilisation: slightly groggy, primitive (especially in appearance…), but optimistic. Today things are going to really move forwards. On rising, I have breakfast and, before throwing myself off the metaphorical caveman bandwagon and out into the wide waters of the working world, I first—tentatively—dip my toe into the tepid shores of modern civilisation.

Good morning, Breakfast TV.

For most viewers the somewhat repetitive stream of news is a quick update into the politics, lifestyles and grievances of the 21st Century Homo erectus. Sometimes exciting, sometimes frightening—often surprisingly mundane—the news gives us an immediate download of vital facts that allow us to join in conversations at work and seem somewhat knowledgeable on the topic of international foreign policies and the who’s who of popular culture.

As a deaf girl, this experience is for me much the same as it is for you heary people, except with the addition of the subtitle.

Whilst on many shows they provide a quick alternative method to following conversation, on BBC Breakfast (and many a Saturday night take-away style show) they opt for live subtitles. I understand—I do—why they need to be live, but there is nothing quite as frustrating as a joke appearing thirty seconds after everyone else has laughed. Unless, I suppose, you are fortunate enough to be surrounded by people who take thirty seconds to get a joke. Yet for those of us who are surrounded by the somewhat more quick-witted, the thirty-second delay is nothing short of a silent traffic jam on the road to entertainment. On occasion, I’ve gone so far as to opt not to watch a show simply on account of the live subtitles—which, as well as ruining punch lines, sometimes skip them altogether thus destroying all understanding that they were ironically supposed to supply. Still—I digress.

Good morning, Breakfast TV.

On this particular news feature, like many others, they do a local weather forecast. It is here that we see the live subtitle at its ‘best’. Presentations can go in numerously interesting ways and it is for these more than those foreign affairs that I find myself tuning in each day. Take this, for example:

“Storm surges in the South East will travel north over the course of the week. The breeze will be more noticeable, and cows too.”

Obviously the noticeability of cows is a big concern to modern man, but whether or not we need to be reminded to be on the lookout is questionable. I recall being quite disappointed not to see a single cow on that particular day (but since when has the weather forecast been reliable, after all?); instead I was shocked by—and vastly unprepared for—the numerous clouds that scattered the sky over the course of my midday break.

The subtitles the following week leapt to a whole new level of what I consider to be ‘too much news’:

“We are back with a very smelly man today.”

Really, TV? A smelly man? Are you sure you don’t mean ‘a snowy one’? Considering the white blanket across England and the blizzards, I’m sure it was a snowy one, possibly with some smelly men out there (it is hard work trudging through a foot of snow after all), yet it’s more probable that it was the former you were aiming for.

Once they even let me know that a certain Miss Ann Fox would be making an appearance in my day. I eagerly anticipated meeting this mysterious woman—who was she? What would she bring to my day? When would she appear and would it be sudden? What tidings might she bring with her? Sadly, I must have missed her—not surprising, considering the dreadful mist and fog that was everywhere…

Needless to say, watching these two-minute weather forecasts becomes not just an informative event but an entertaining one—there’s a puzzle, there’s a riddle, there’s a bit of humour tucked away amongst the green-screened map. Just what your 21st century caveman needs to get the clogs grinding forwards ready for the dawn of a new day.

pop culture
Like

About the Creator

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.