THE 5 BEST AREAS OF YOUR HOUSE TO HAVE A MELTDOWN

A study conducted by The Harvard School of Public Health (2013), suggests that bottling up emotions increases your risk of premature death by more than 30%. Putting on a brave face when you’re down may seem like the mature thing to do, but you can’t hide your feelings forever. Because, let’s face it, 2020 was an absolutely garbage year. We’re locked in our houses during a terrifying world-wide pandemic, and no one knows when the madness will end. Therefore, if there's ever going to be a perfect time to have a full-blown adult tantrum it’s right now. Without further ado, here are the 5 best areas of the house to lose your sh*t!

#5: The bedroom:

The tried and tested favourite. Sobbing into your pillow is a classic, yet inconspicuous way to let it all out. Psychotherapist Michael Formica (2008) suggests that the state of your bedroom reflects the state of your mind. If your stress levels are through the roof, you may as well trash your room to match. Whether you’re beating your fists into the mattress, wallowing on the floor in a puddle of tears or hiding from the world in the dark corner of your closet, the bedroom is a perfect place to feel sorry for yourself.

#4: The shower:

Quarantining by yourself? Why not take a hot shower and let your lonely tears wash down the drain? According to a study by psychologists at Yale University (2011) people often take hot baths and showers as a substitute for social warmth. At a time when most would rather a box of bees than a handshake with a stranger, who isn’t feeling a little bit socially frosty? Curl up in a ball on your shower floor and let the water wash your sorrows away. While you’re at it, why not sing a sad song? Bathroom acoustics are fantastic.

#3 The garden:

There's no better way to soak up some vitamin D than rolling around in a pile of dirt bemoaning the unfairness of life. Research published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Science (2015) suggests that spending time in nature significantly reduces symptoms of depression. So when life is too much to handle, why not thrash around in the garden like a giant angry grub? Rip out some plants, yell at the clouds, throw fistfulls of soil at anyone who tells you to calm down. Bonus points if you wake the neighbours!

#2 The couch:

Is there any better place to complain about your life than the couch? Think of a therapist’s office, the couch is practically made for whinging. Fainting couches were used to help treat hysteria in the 1900’s, you never know how beneficial a tantrum on the couch may be. Meltdowns on the couch are best had while sprawled out across all three cushions, with limbs dangling off the edge and your feet up on the arm rest. For good measure, lay a damp cloth across your forehead like a tightly corseted duchess during a heat wave. Groan dramatically in full view of your loved ones, the living room is a great place to let everyone know you've had enough!

#1 The hallway floor:

My personal favourite. Flop down onto the floor in the middle of the hallway. Kick and scream like a toddler protesting nap time. Hallways are the most dramatic place to have a cow. Any other members of your household will have no choice but to pass you anytime they wish to enter another room of the house. That way no one can avoid witnessing your furious outbreak of emotions. To get the most out of your hallway meltdown, try clinging to the legs of anyone who tries to step around you. Let them drag you down the corridor as you demand to know what you did to deserve all of this.