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Mirrors

by Akilah Simpson

By Akilah SimpsonPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
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"A mirror is a terrible thing", she thought. She looked in the mirror and began to analyze every flaw she believed she had. There were currently a lot more than usual because she had just finished crying. Her eyes, which she never really liked because of the small mole under her right eye, were now a bright red. She had small little bumps all around her face that she was convinced no type of acne cream or mask would get rid of. Her nose was too wide for her taste, or anyone’s taste for that matter. Her lips were abnormally large and to her she had what looked like an old man’s mouth. The kind of mouth where there were lines that marked where the edges of her lips ended and her cheeks officially began.

She looked at all of this and scowled. "Only I can make myself look even worse when I cry." She needed to go back to class. She grabbed her bag from under the sink and took out the makeup kit she received earlier for her birthday. She had never worn makeup before but mentioned to a friend that she was interested in it. She watched makeup tutorials on youtube for the hell of it; but once she learned that random crying fits would be part of her newfound depression, she decided she should start wearing makeup at times like these. Times like this where she needs to hide from everyone that, for some reason, she is unhappy.

She opened the kit to see what it contained. Several make up brushes, different eye shadow and blush pallets, eye liners, lip liners, lip gloss and lipstick in some very bright shades, and various other things she looked at puzzled. She unlocked her phone and looked up a simple make up tutorial. As she watched the first video she clicked on, she looked through her kit to see if she had everything the video called for.

"I wonder if I have time for this." She looked at herself in the mirror again. "Maybe I don’t look so bad. It’s not like anyone pays that much attention to me anyway. My eyes aren’t that red. And maybe they aren’t puffy either. I just need to throw some water on my face and I should be okay. Or maybe I just shouldn’t go back to class. Maybe I just need to go back to my room and be by myself. We’re reading Gatsby. What could I possibly be missing?"

A group of girls walked into the bathroom. She smiled at them and they smiled back. She took that as her cue to leave. To go where? She hadn’t decided yet. But she didn’t want to be in the bathroom with others, or in class, or even in her room. At this moment, she just wanted to be by herself. She wanted to disappear.

She looked down the hall to her left. "Class is this way." She thought. "Maybe like two or three doors down. But if I go right, I can leave out the building and go straight to my room which is across the street." She contemplated this for about 5 minutes before making a final decision. "My room. I am going to my room."

She proceeded to make a right down the hall. Ran down the stairs and then across the street. As she approached the entrance to her dorm, she dug in her back pocket to grab her key card. She pressed it to the sensor and waited for it to beep and click to unlock. Lucky for her, her dorm room was the first door to the right. She dug in her back pocket again and grabbed her keys and unlocked her door. She dropped her bag and fell onto her bed. She closed her eyes and prayed that when she woke up she would feel different.

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