Doyle Syndrome

I had to check that there wasn’t a real illness called Doyle Syndrome prior to writing this post, and there isn’t, so we’re good. Although if there was, I’d just call it Mrs. Doyle syndrome — which may give you some idea as to where this is going. My memory was jolted by an article published on The Establishment, “This Is Why Consent Doesn’t Exist For Disabled Folks,” which goes in to the numerous ways in which disabled people are required to give more of themselves in order to get the same treatment as able-bodied people. An important issue it raises is the stripping of agency from disabled individuals by the able-bodied.

And it reminded me of a scene I saw about 2 years ago while out running an errand in Manchester. I used a footbridge to cross the road to get to the railway station, and there were two other people on the bridge with me. A woman in a self-propelled wheelchair heading in the opposite direction, and a man a few paces behind me, presumably also on his way to catch a train. As it turns out, this man was a Helpful Stranger™. The woman was quite clearly going about her business just fine, but the Helpful Stranger™ was here to rescue her from the perils of Existing While Disabled.

“Would you like me to push you?” he asked, anticipating her grateful response.

“No, thank you, I’m fine,” she replied.

The Helpful Stranger™ was taken aback by her confusing answer. She must be mistaken!

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, thanks,”

“I really don’t mind, here let me – "

“Please, I’m fine,” she responded again.

“Really? I – "

“No, thanks. I’m absolutely fine.”

And thank goodness the conversation ended there, as it was getting rather embarrassing. I myself felt a little awkward because I wasn’t sure whether it was appropriate for me to step in and say, “Dude, she said she’s fine, like, three times, and you’re not listening.” There would have ended up being so many White Knights we’d need to settle it with a jousting tournament.

Two things struck me about this moment; firstly that this man needed to be told three times before he would back off, presumably because he thought he knew better than her about her own desires and needs, and secondly that he seemed to want the wheelchair user to react in a certain way for his own validation. The first possibility is completely disrespectful, assuming that this woman could not be trusted to know her own mind, and that he, an able-bodied cisgender white man, obviously knew better. The second possibility isn’t great either, and actually, they probably both applied, making the situation even shittier. Endless articles have been written on how disabled people aren’t Teachable Moments or Inspiration Porn, and we’re certainly not here just to bolster the self-image of Good Guys™.

Although there is another possibility…

This poor man could be afflicted with Doyle Syndrome. For those of you who either aren’t British, or have been living as a hermit for the past 25 years, Mrs. Doyle is a character in the sitcomFather Ted. Father Ted is a Catholic Priest serving the community on the tiny, isolated Craggy Island. Mrs. Doyle is his housekeeper, notorious for frequently “offering” tea to the priests and their guests — and this is not an offer one can easily refuse! Mrs. Doyle is rather insistent, with her “Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on” patter, and it is much easier to give in than to turn down the offer of yet another lovely cup of tea. Interestingly, those with Doyle syndrome are also prone to asking anyone but the disabled person how they take their tea.

Those suffering from Doyle Syndrome are affected in a similar way. When they make a request of somebody who does not want their assistance or generous offer, they are incapable of processing what has just happened. The mismatch between reality and the script they had constructed in their brain causes them to experience a form of echolalia, in which they repeat their offer or question over and over and over, until their target either caves in, walks away, or tells them to fuck off.

The world must be such a confusing place for the sufferers of Doyle Syndrome. It tends to affect those who are eager to please, and it results in embarrassment and heartache every time they open their mouths. They may come across as blustering oafs, but their struggle is real. Spare a thought for these poor souls – but never give in to their pestering; it will only make them worse.