The sun was beating through the window of my home office, I could feel it warm my face.
Furiously, I stayed on task.
I have to finish this assignment.
I have to pay the bills.
I have to reply to my work emails.
Enter the fly.
I have no idea where it came from but it landed on my keyboard, and without thought I swooshed it away.
It landed on my finger as I typed. A slight but annoying tickle, interrupting my task at hand. I flicked my hand... and felt a ping of anxiety flush through my face.
Truth is I had taken no time for anything but tasks for months. My paint brushes sat in a cup on the corner of my desk. My art table had become a collection of paperwork and unopened mail. I was overwhelmed with the pressure to complete every task- early.
In addition to the tedious assignments of work, college and finances I had to get the house clean, do grocery shopping, feed my pets, help the kids with homework, tend to my garden...
I had lost track of how long I had been buzzing around taking care of every thing but me. Easily drinking two maybe three pots of coffee, as I became unknowingly dependent on caffeine to keep me focused on all the shit that is considered "important" in adult life.
The fly landed on my head... I did not feel it until it started molesting my ear with its sticky little feet. I stopped typing to again swat it away.
Almost as if it was liberated in my intent focus of completing tasks, it landed on my computer screen.
That didn't phase me.
Then it started moving across the image of the excel spreadsheet I was working on. Like a figure skater so in tune with its movement, it cared about nothing else- including the eyes upon it.
I was again feeling that anxiety well up within me... frustrated by the little winged creature that had come into my space uninvited. Stealing moments of precious time dedicated to menial tasks that I had to complete on the timeline that existed only in my mind.
I slammed my hand on my desk, frustrated like a toddler who was given the wrong color spoon.
It flew into the air, this time buzzing... apparently annoyed that I distracted it from my screen.
...and just as I started to refocus on my task, it landed on my wrist.
It was relentless in its attention seeking, distractive behavior.
With a flick of a wrist, I was thoroughly annoyed.
Then it landed on one of the paint brushes that sat neglected on the corner of my desk.
I miss painting.
I felt a bit of sadness, realizing that I hadn't taken any time to paint for so very long.
I stood up and walked to the kitchen and prepared myself a glass of ice water.
Walking down the hall back to my office, I enjoyed the cool feeling of water in my throat as I took a sip from my glass.
I sat down, preparing to get back on track.
The fly was still where I had left it, on my paint brush.
I opened a desk drawer and took out a blank business card. Then I rolled my chair over to my art table and grabbed a few tubes of paint. Returning to the position of my desk, I decided it was my turn to invade this little winged devils space. I grabbed the paint brush it had been perched upon.
It flew upwards, landing on the wall and then swooshing down and coming to a rest, once again, on my computer screen.
... and in that moment my artistic inspiration returned.