5 Reasons Why Sobriety Is the New Black

"I was done with making an ass of myself in front of people (I'm still embarrassed), tired of day drinking and feeling like shit by 6, not being able to sleep." - Chrissy Teigen on Instagram

The last few years have been tough, particularly the election year of 2020 with the additional specter of the COVID-19 pandemic. Social media has been inundated with comments, photos, and ads for products that promoted the use of alcohol to cope "with all this."

Last year, I realized I was becoming psychologically dependent on alcohol. What was worse, I became aware that I wasn't the only one who noticed. Someone game me a joke gift. It was a pair of socks with "If you can read this, bring me a glass of wine" written on soles. All I had to do was prop up my feet and, presumably, someone would get the message and hop to it.

It became obvious that people I knew associated me with drinking. It was one of the things they thought about when they thought of me. Someone looked at those socks and said to themselves, "These are perfect for Denise." That bothered me. I don't aspire to be everyone's favorite wino.

Now it's 2021, and others like me have reached the point where their coping mechanism has morphed into a lifestyle. Crisis drinking becomes a big problem when there's a new crisis every day.

When stories of hangovers, blackouts, and passing out on the "Parents with Twins" Zoom call are traded like cookie recipes, it's clear society has shifted in the wrong direction. It's time for a course correction.

In recent weeks, many of us have raised a hand to say we're ready to put a cork in it, literally, because this isn't working. Are you one of us? I stopped drinking over two months ago. I've made it through Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve, an insurrection, and an inauguration without so much of a sip of champagne.

For me, it hasn't been hard yet. (I never developed a physical dependence, thank goodness.) But I'm all too aware that could change. I haven't been around people and situations where I'm expected to drink.

Once everyone's vaccinated, and I venture forth into the world of happy hours and boozy brunches, it may be more challenging. Here are five things I've resolved to consider before I end my dry spell (if I ever do):

1. Drinking messes with success

"If anything, it just makes me not reach my full potential, which is unacceptable to me. Like, I will not accept anyone or anything that causes me to not reach my fullest potential." - Miley Cyrus on The Howard Stern Show on why she's no longer drinking

If you're like me, there have been many things left undone because of drinking. I've stayed home from business and social events because I had exceeded the legal limit to get behind the wheel. I've shirked work because of hangovers. Since alcohol is a depressant, it worsened my chronic depression, killing my initiative and my ability to move forward in my career.

The list of brilliant, successful writers who drank to excess is long and storied: Ernest Hemingway, Dylan Thomas, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and Patricia Highsmith, to name a few. But in almost every case, they did their best work before alcohol took over their lives.

Fitzgerald was only 44 when he died, but he had hadn't done anything of note since his novel Tender is the Night was published six years earlier. Ironically, the novel chronicles the destruction of the protagonist's marriage and career due to alcoholism.

2. Drinking destroys relationships

"It got to the point where I knew that I drank too much. I knew that it was affecting my personal relationships, it was affecting my professional relationships, it was affecting my family. It was turning me into a person that I didn't want to be… I was at a point where I could lose everything that I had in my life, first and foremost, my family." - Tim McGraw on quitting drinking in 2008

There's an expression people use when apologizing for something hurtful or outrageous they said under the influence of alcohol: "That was the booze talking."

An even older expression, attributed to Imperial Roman author Pliny, the Elder, is "In vino veritas." That's Latin for "In wine, there is truth." In other words, whatever you say under the influence is what you really think.

Telling it like it is can be a great quality, but we have filters for a reason. Not everything that crosses our minds should be shared with others, at least not if we want to remain popular (or in a relationship).

3. Drinking can prevent you from doing the things you love

If you dig flying a plane, taking long drives, or doing anything that requires mental acuity or fine motor skills, like crossword puzzles or building model airplanes, heavy drinking is bound to interfere with that.

You may be able to pull it off sometimes, but not well and not always. It might even result in a disaster you should have seen coming, like supergluing your fingers together or hitting a Mack truck.

Men who consider themselves love machines may increasingly find that alcohol throws a spanner into the works. What they think will rev the engine leaves them with a faulty starter and a dead battery.

The morning after has its own share of disappointments. A bad hangover can ruin a whole weekend, not only for you but also for anyone hoping to spend time with you. It can cause you to miss out on special events and experiences for which there won't be a second chance.

4. Drinking is bad for your health

"I have always been a heavy drinker but now as a result of this half-life we've been leading,I am drinking twice as much. The upshot will be that I'll die of drink." - Richard Burton, who died of a stroke at age 58We sometimes hear of someone "drinking themselves to death," but few people die from actual alcohol poisoning. (Singer Amy Winehouse was a notable exception.)

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, excessive drinking can lead to short and long-term injuries and illnesses. Some of these include falls, car crashes, drowning, burns, high blood pressure, cancer, heart disease, stroke, liver disease, and digestive problems. It also contributes to depression, which can result in other destructive behaviors, including suicide.

5. Drinking prevents you from dealing with your issues

"Sitting with those horrible feelings, and needing to understand them, and putting them into place. In the end, you find: I am those things I don't like. That is a part of me. I can't deny that. I have to accept that. And in fact, I have to embrace that. I need to face that and take care of that." - Brad Pitt

Life is hard. Nobody's perfect. We all have problems, and we all have things about ourselves we don't like. Past mistakes or painful memories may prompt us to take refuge in an alcoholic haze.

It's tempting to pretend our troubles don't exist. Maybe, we tell ourselves, if we ignore them long enough, they'll go away. But even as we tell ourselves this, we know it's a lie.

Alcohol may help us forget what's wrong temporarily, but it won't fix anything. The longer we neglect our issues, the worse they become. Drinking doesn't make our problems go away; it only adds to them.

My stint with sobriety has been too brief for me to reach any earth-shattering conclusions, but I like the way things are going. My memory has improved, my weight has been easier to control, and I have a little extra money in my pocket.

I feel better since I stopped drinking. I've begun tackling projects I've put off for too long and getting more done in a day than I used to.

Much of my drinking was due to boredom. Now that I'm out of the habit, I'm finding new things to interest me and have the energy to pursue them.

I won't lie, sobriety has also brought some personal issues into focus that I'd rather not think about, but I know that I have to if I'm going to live life authentically. That part is tough, but I'm feeling more optimistic than I have in a long time.

If sobriety is the new black, I have to admit that it looks good on me. Why not try it on yourself and see if it fits?