We all need these influences to be successful

There are 4 relationships that everyone needs as influences to truly succeed in life. The first is that of the nature of a sibling, it doesn’t have to be an actual sibling. There are many people who are an only child, what I am saying is they are sibling like, best friend or the platonic relationship.

This is the ones you share most of your life with, it’s the ones who know the most about you. But they still move on for whatever reason, you may be lucky enough to have one of these friends with you for your whole life. These are the ones who stop you from doing real dangerous stuff, they make you see reason I many situations. They are also the ones that share in doing silly stuff, often share in your humour.

Then there’s your lover, partner. You may live with them, but you are not with them 24/7, while you spend time with them, most of the everyday events are conversations of stories about what has happened, but they will be with you for a lifetime.

If you will, the power your partner has is that when something has gone wrong, when your platonic friend has not been able to stop you, or something has gone wrong and has affected your friend as well or emotionally your friend just cannot deal with you. It is your partner that reminds you of who you are and where you have come from. They can be brutally honest, making you think about the consequences of your actions.

These first 2 in today’s society are very often the same person. Whilst it is sweet that you can find someone to share daily life with as well as being a partner. Sometimes, not always, it can be what makes the relationship hard, as you are both trying to play two roles in other person’s life. It doesn’t always work, because of the pressure on each role brings.

The third is actually quite hard to have as the same person as above, but it’s the mentor. This is usually a parent or grandparent like relationship. They know you best, they are often not interested in details when helping, they are not afraid to just dive straight into the issue. They know how to get information from you, they are not easily fobbed off. They have the ability to see through lies and therefore continue to questioning you even if your answers are false.

They can’t stop you from doing anything stupid, nor do they try to change your mind on a decision, but they do keep you grounded of your own truth. Because of this you can trust them with your deepest and darkest secrets knowing they will not judge you.

This sounds a bit weird, but the final relationship is an enemy. We all need an enemy in life. Now when I say enemy, this is someone who you may not like, but you respect each other. You know enough about the other to destroy them. The respect shown is that you work differently, maybe for the same cause, you can be civil, you talk, and work together when you need to. But above that you stay out of each other’s way.

The weird part is that your enemy will help your friends to help you. As principle you don’t help enemies, but the respect is there for them to help someone you care about ensure you make the right moves.

But why do we need the enemy? Because they are the ones who will keep you on the right path, they will be the one who is looking for you to slip, to prove their own views about you, for no other reason then you are bad guy in their story.

Each of our relationships in our lives represent and benefit us in some way, we have each person in our life as a friend for different purposes. Maybe work colleague, maybe someone you go on adventures with, you may have people who are your drink buddies but nothing else really in common. Some people come into our lives once and never return, it happens. Maybe you meet at an event, or on holiday, or in a supermarket. Everyone has some form of influence in our lives but at different levels.

Much of our lives get messed up when we confuse these relationships. Each of them has specific mechanisms which are essential to our well being. They work better when they are separate individuals as it is difficult to be 2 roles in people’s lives.

So there you have it, 4 important influences we all need. People come and go from our lives, but we all need stability and constants in our lives.