Spring Cleaning for Optimists

If there was Rorschach test for individuals that love a good project and for those that don’t, I am sure the responses for each inkblot picture shown would be:

Psychologist, holding up a placard: “What do you see?”

Person A: “A broken lamp. But it could be beautiful with some touch up paint and some LED fairy lights. Just gorgeous in red or maybe gloss white with sprinkles of lilac or lime to bring that unexpected hint of color with the gray walls in the den.”

Person B: “And all I see is garbage.”

Psychologist, holding up another inkblot: “Now what do you see?”

Person A: “Oh my goodness. I see some wood scraps, maybe a pallet or two, but with just a few different splashes of color, it would be the most glorious wall art. I think I see some accent lighting in there. Is that part right there accent lighting?”

Person B: “No. It’s trash. Definitely trash.”

And those two people - person A and B - as you are well aware are not fictitious at all. In fact, they are often in a relationship with each other and the ability for one to optimistically see the potential in all things discarded and the other’s ability to see nothing but a large trash bin in each item’s future lead to misunderstandings, disgruntled passive-aggressive stances, and these flare up each spring when the whispers of spring cleaning waft in as the snow recedes, the sun creeps out, and allergies skyrocket.

So what can they do? Or rather, what can we do? Because I must confess, I am that optimist with a little bit of clutter. What got me started on a quest to figure out my type was when my wife and I had a discussion of sorts about the various projects strewn about in various stages of completion. She hinted once again that a large black trash bag - the kind with reinforced patterns to hold in more junk without tearing - should be the funeral shroud for many of them. I gave an eloquent rebuttal, claiming that she did not see potential in my projects and was likely a pessimist. Her reply was both succinct and hurtful to all languishing projects out there: "I am not a pessimist. I am a realist." Does this sound familiar? Have you shared a home with someone with a similar sentiment?

What I came to realize is that how you feel about that phrase likely will reveal your organizational style. How, you may ask? My wife is a type-A, zeroed-out inbox, keeps up with the budget down to the last penny type of individual where everything has a place and if it doesn’t have a place, it dies a quiet death in the nearest trash bin. And if you read that phrase and you find yourself silently nodding in agreement, then you likely share her mindset - one that does not allow for clutter because, well, everything has its place. However, if you hear that phrase and you feel a little twinge of sorrow...maybe you feel your soul step back in shock - is it the pessimist part? Or worse, is it the realist part? - then you might be like me, one that has a little clutter in their life. But is clutter really clutter if it is loved?

So what does clutter have to do with the way we are wired? It has a lot, and to understand that will help you understand yourself, and therefore help you understand your way into a less-cluttered life.

I walk through life seeing things for what they could be - an optimist (perhaps to the extreme) - and my reality is that: full of potential. The knick knack collecting dust on my desk was discarded somewhere, but I rescued it and have grand plans to help it live out a new life. The gas trimmer that needs a new carburetor or something else to make it run again - yes, I will save that from its destruction and it will live again. The wine bottles that are empty will be filled with light as a light fixture or as insets in the wall with LEDs (well, when I get around to that project). The list goes on and on, and each piece, I can see it - really see it - for what it could be. And the result is clutter (not to me, but to people like your significant other or the neighbor that dropped in for an impromptu visit or God forbid you live in a neighborhood with an HOA). The clutter of projects that can kind of get in the way of me completing some projects, but I so want to finish those projects so I can get on to my other - can I type using scientific notation when I need to express the number of projects I have? Well, let’s just say I have a lot of projects. My wife does not see that. Calling them projects is a little too kind for her. In fact, she has no idea why I haven’t chunked everything, saved up money here and there and bought a new weed trimmer along with a light that doesn’t involve stealing from a recycle bin. Oh, the blind ones, the (I’ll say it under my breath where she can’t hear) pessimists. But if you ask her, she will attest she is a realist.

When I get brave and decide to do something about the clutter, I head off to the spare room or the shed in the backyard with two black trash bags in hand and then I spend three hours looking and poking and maybe throw away three or four things. Why? I go in my shed or my office and I find myself looking at these things as if I was in an orphanage for projects, and I am in there sitting, dreaming, loving, and promising the projects of better days ahead. Truth be told, if I was given a blank sheet of paper and told to list everything in there - all of the projects in different stages of completion - there would be no way I could remember even a small percentage of them, but when I go in to rid myself of things, I...just...can’t...because I don’t see what they are, I only can see what they will become. However, if the Pied Piper of Partially Completed Projects were to come in the middle of the night and whisk away these items to a better life away from here, I might likely not miss most of them because I only remember them when they are physically in front of me.

So what do I do? Is there a camp for overly optimistic adults to help them rid themselves of their clutter (read - learn to be a pessimist…)? What should I do? The one thing - I repeat - the one thing that says you do need help from that friend, significant other, neighbor, or stranger is that pivotal point when your projects take over the very space where you can actually complete projects - that workbench, the studio desk, the corner of the room where you make your art or craft. Once that happens, the stalemate on projects will make WWI trench warfare stalemates pale in comparison. There will be no forward motion on completing projects, yet more items will slowly be added until a true intervention is needed.

That is where it hurts, but is much needed and here are a few steps to make way for a better future with the ability to make forward progress towards finishing projects and to make your more type-A friends and family a little happier.

First, decide what is a do-not-throw-away-because-I-am-emotionally-attached-to-this thing. Why? Because getting some decluttering help and immediately getting sad about it probably isn’t going to help your relationship with the person you just asked to help. What could be this thing that should never be thrown away? It will be different for every individual, but for me this thing is photographs and notebooks that I have jotted notes in. To me those are irreplaceable and I know I would miss them. Once you establish a category of things that shant be torn asunder, the next step is admittedly a difficult one. Turn over the clutter to your friend or your significant other and walk away. This step is difficult because for a person who loves projects and has a little clutter, it feels like the equivalent of giving back your rescue pup to the pound. The pessimists...er...realists do not understand that. And to make matters worse, when those who love projects begrudgingly relinquish control of the clutter and hand it over, the non-project-minded person feels like they just got a free ticket to Disney World. It is like a dream come true to them that they get to eradicate that which has annoyed them for so long and since they do not see value in it, they relish the thought of making it all disappear. And that definitely makes it worse. That being said, when you hand over the clutter to another, be sure to limit the damage (or organization - whichever term you prefer) that your friend can bring about. For me, I pick up one of the large plastic bins from a local home improvement store and have that set aside for my do-not-throw-away-because-I-am-emotionally-attached-to-this things (people who dislike clutter definitely like clutter jammed in a nondescript plastic bin than it being laid out on countertops). I do this for two reasons. One, it makes the decluttering process easier and it gives the one helping you out a place to put the items on the asylum list. Two, it doesn’t tempt fate by giving the person who does not understand your clutter and semi-completed projects only a large trash bag. For me (and I believe for you as well) this is helpful. This method allows for spring cleaning even if it gets a little uncomfortable at times. It allows me to have a reset button of sorts with my projects, it allows me to regroup and reevaluate what projects to complete next and it ensures that I have a place to keep making progress on the projects that I do have, and it, sigh, really makes my wife happy. Best of luck as you continue to make progress on your projects and not allowing the clutter to get in the way with what really matters.