Cheers to Youth, Cheers to Life.

If there is one thing that I want to be in life, it is to be a kid forever. I want to be naive and simple. I want to jump when I am most excited and freely cry when things don’t go my way. I wouldn’t be as judged as I am now, for I am just a kid—a rookie in this mean, mean world.

A girl in her 20s crying at a random convenience store would just seem weird, right? You would probably assume she either got her heart broken, lost her job, or was simply seeking attention. “She could’ve chosen a more private place to express her emotions,” they’d say. As compared to a child, who would just look like a kid being a kid—no labels, no reason. Just a kid crying, and that’s “normal.”

If only I knew this was life as an adult, I wouldn’t beg the heavens to make me taller, to make the days move faster, to add more numbers to my age. When I was younger, I would be envious of my titas sitting on the porch late at night, eating snacks, and staying up as long as they wanted while my mother forcibly takes me to my room because a kid is supposed to have at least 8 hours of sleep to grow up well — Did I grow up well?

"I wish I was older."

"My dear, you wouldn’t want that."

There I was, thinking how my mother was spitting the wrong words when, in fact, she was right. She was always right, I indeed don’t want it anymore. And you know what? it sucks because no one warns you that as you grow old, you would look in the mirror and slowly can’t recognize your own reflection. A child you once simply knew by their favorite colors, favorite toys, and even their favorite blanket is now a stranger, hiding behind this woman with tense shoulders and shaky hands. No one told me that I could get sick just by living. No one told me that I could have the best night ever but wake up being my own biggest hater.

In my normal day as a bed-rotting adult, a TV ad appears about trampolines made for all ages with a tagline saying “Who says you can’t be a kid forever? Own one now!” And usually, I wouldn’t mind, but how can a trampoline ad make me cry in the middle of the night, grieving for a childhood I wish I enjoyed more? An urge to own my life like a child who doesn’t want to share her candy rushed through my veins, thinking how I don’t want to waste another decade of my life wishing to be someone who I’m not supposed to be.

This life isn’t easy, but it also isn’t bad. Being older and wiser is a gift, but being able to have days where I can freely play and be who I want to be, just like a child in their imagination, is a luxury. I may not have the means to fully embrace it, but little by little, I am creating my own world ; building a universe that the little me would enjoy too. I am a grown woman, with responsibilities and important decisions to make in this day and age, but I guess it’s also nice to not be afraid to break my own chains. I trapped my inner child in the past, however, the reality is I can always take her with me. I don’t have to be ten again to be youthful, I can be youthful by being who I am today.

We did great today. We did a good job today.

This isn’t my life anymore, but ours. No matter where life takes us, we will sing our own songs, echoing our own melodies, harmonizing with the world’s noise. What makes it more exciting is the glass of wine I have in my hand right now. Walking through life with a bittersweet take.

Raise your glass for a toast!

Cheers to youth, cheers to life.

This poetry article is inspired by SEVENTEEN’s latest song, Cheers to youth.