Writing

During the summer of 2019 I began to write again. Largely fiction because you can do whatever you want in your world. There is something therapeutic and calming about that fact. No one can discourage you or tell you that what you are writing about is “stupid,” “silly,” or “unimportant.” Writing again became a passion when I took a creative writing class in my final semester of community college (spring 2019). When I was younger, I had always been loosely interested in writing, but I did not know enough about the basics to get started. After the completion of this class, I not only felt empowered to begin writing my own material, but I realized that it helped me in bringing out emotions that I had been suppressing for a long time. Therefore, I am not exaggerating when I say that writing has done so much for me, so I am forever grateful.

My professor for creative writing was an awesome teacher, and even more of an awesome person. She always encouraged our creativity and gave us the best advice I have received regarding writing. “Do not be afraid to write about what you know.” This was a very empowering statement and one that I always carry with me anytime I write poetry or begin to write another short story. My favorite topics tend to be romance, football, basketball, religion, and mental health. I have found that no matter how many times I explore these topics I always love to go back to them. They refresh me and regenerate my soul. I really care about these topics, thus I am able to find creative ways to engage them. Similarly, when it comes to poetry I do the same thing, I focus on what I know. While I do write about those five aforementioned topics, I tend to focus more on my sadness, pain, life experiences, and traumas.

At first glance, this sounds depressing like I am opening myself up to be a glutton for punishment. I promise, this is not the key. However, it does make it easier for me to focus on topics as I am naturally able to lean into my sadness and despair. I was the “kid” who pretended to be in a music video by looking outside with a side expression on my face when it was raining. I was not unlike your typical teenager – I had romantic crushes, I was insecure, and I wanted to hang out with my friends. Nonetheless, I was also, not a typical teenager in ways. I was fearful of life, I was overly dependent on my parents in reference to who I was, and I struggled with self-image.

Many of these struggles continued for me into young adulthood, which led to an identity crisis. With the help of other outlets I began to finally climb my way out and slowly but surely gain confidence in myself. Even so, it was writing that eventually pushed me over the top. By writing out of my feelings and “personal longings” I was able to create what I have never been able to experience:

1. Experiencing friendship and romance with a girl

2. Playing on the high school football or basketball team

3. Experiencing close friendship with that inseparable group

Making stories of longing and want has surprising power. It can make one feel alive and even give one the power to dream for better futures. When writing about personal longings it may seem corny at first, but write it anyway. The soul needs it. And eventually, you will start to see improvements in your writing. Do not worry about who will not want to read it, it’s not for them anyway.

When getting those thoughts out onto paper it lends to a freedom where one has finally allowed themselves to be who they are. Keeping emotions and feelings bottled up will only lead to disaster and anxiety. Express it. My outlet is writing and maybe that will help you too. I realize that I am a romantic, empath, beach and amusement park enthusiast, encourager, tuned into my emotions, attracted to smiles of beautiful girls, a passion for basketball and football, cherishing of my friends, and a soft spot for deep friendships and deep conversations. All of these aspects of myself, in some way shape or form, have been in my writing.

This allows me to create typical or more creative settings for my stories, while largely focusing on the above list for themes. I can make a story about time travel to another period, or simply focus the story in that era, (e.g., 1800’s America) and make it about romance. Or I can decide to focus on the challenges of high school or college life. Or, if I am feeling really daring I will focus on a social justice issue close to my heart, and decide to write a story around that. These are only a few examples, but this is exactly what I love about writing. It allows my imagination to breath and to live in worlds that I never thought possible.