Where Will You Be In One Year?

Where will you be in one year? If you had asked me that one year ago, I definitely would not have thought I would have another child and working on myself all over again. I have started from scratch more times than I can remember. I created scenarios in my head, addiction and issues with my mental health were not in any of them. My faith is what has kept me moving forward. I do believe that God disrupts our plans, because He has a better plan in mind though.

I do get disappointed thinking about where I could of been, but that is normal isn't it? I have had experiences over the years that make me think "Wow this only happens in movies." It seems surreal, at times, to think that things have happened in the way they did. You would think some of the stories I could tell, are made up.

Let me share a thought that I have had for weeks now. Humans have taken apart machines, to understand how they work. Then they put them back together, right? So would it make sense that we pick ourselves apart, to get a better understanding of who we are? We push ourselves to limits we did not know we had, self sabotage ourselves and at times we fall apart. We learn how to pick ourselves back up and put back together the pieces of what we broke within ourselves. Am I making sense? Crazy, right?

Why do we beat ourselves up, especially over things we cannot control? I have come to realize that we do not celebrate accomplishments enough. In society, we focus on the failures. Someone is considered bragging, when they want to share their wins in life. That is just my point of view though. I think that is why I feel disappointed, when I think about where I should be at my age. But no one realizes how many little accomplishments I have achieved, just to get here. Depression almost took my life. The fact that I am still here today, is a win all on its own. My advice to anyone who is reading this, is to give yourself credit for the battles you have defeated in silence. I am happy you are still here.

Society has created an "idea" of what we should be. Truth is, we all move at different paces and our futures all look different. If you do not have an exact answer for where you will be in an year, that is perfectly okay. It is the effort you make towards figuring it out and finding your purpose that counts. There are people who are incarcerated or six feet in the ground and will not ever get to experience life again. Someone had once told me "If you cannot humble yourself, God will gladly do it for you." Let that sink in.

It may sound cheesy, but life is beautiful. I have learned a lot over the years, and I have not lived my life according to the status quo. I am not proud of every decision I have made, but who is? Mistakes do not define who you are. It is what you do after each mistake, that will define your character. Personally, I would rather be a late bloomer than someone who never got their life on track. My story has not come to an end, yet. I plan on walking and talking like I am blessed, because I am blessed. Your perception can paint the picture into something that is prettier than what you had imagined before. It is all up to you on what you do in this lifetime. Forget what anyone thinks and do what makes you happy.