Where To Go Now?

What do you do when you need an income but your efforts seem pointless?

In part I'm referring to when you realize your work is getting you nowhere;

When even, in your opinion, the customers buying from the company are buying things in excess...things they may not even need.

It's a matter of principles, isn't it?

There's nothing wrong with the business, because the business is simply trying to meet supply with demand. Evidently, a successful business has honed in on a particular brand of consumer and has met their specific (not necessarily specified, having engaged with and answered the call of the "true" needs of the consumer) needs continuously, or they have found a wide range of appeal to an even more "refined" group or large mass.

Now, it's only fair that I say that I am talking from what I have gleaned from external sources and my own logic conceptions of such things, so by all means you don't have to even consider me as any sort of a business expert. I hold no such degrees. As you probably know by now, if you have read through any of my other works on this site, I share ideas and things that have inspired me, typically off the cuff and unedited.

Anyway, back to my main aim of this article. It is more of a journey of self-discovery for me to take action upon, TODAY. Not like I haven't said that before in my life. Shoot. I knew that walking into that sentence, didn't I?

("I said shoot, Ma! SHOOT!")

I need to get out of my own current job. Hell, I need to get out of my own way. But there are several obvious reasons why I find myself stalled time after time:

I claim I can handle what's given to me.

My work has been lauded by others, but generally it is due to my being able to, you know, actually put some effort into my work.

Part of it comes down to my creativity and neatness, as in my old engineering assembler job, and my flow in motion and thought, my current product scanning and storing position.

Of course, my performance has always been contrasted with my daily tardiness, but, hey, I do a good job and I do get there, eventually.

I'm also choosy whenever possible, and can get infantile in my reaction to resistance, but that's a point that needs more depth and context added later on.

I am always drawn by the people, sometimes ones I shouldn't be.

Because I get to work with some of my family at my current job, the incentive to leave loses some of its appeal.

It also doesn't help that I am still battling with anxiety, though less than I used to.

I have acquaintances, as well, and people generally seek me out, but I know the "good friends" I have will probably never been seen again once I leave the company. It's always been like that. With only a few exceptions.

It makes it even worse when there is a crush or two to break my heart. Haha. Every job I have had has had those. I'm looking at you. I'm positive you know who you are. XD

I know better than to run around the world to find what's most important.

I have always found myself as almost a guest to society. Through all my years with my loved ones, my emotions, my thoughts, my dreams, I have failed to come to grips with how things just don't mesh for me.

I still cannot believe that we have to jump from place to place to find where we are supposed to be.

Why can't we just "love the one we're with", so to speak?

I get that attraction isn't a choice, and it's a "dog eat dog world", and all kinds of other truths and nonsense are fighting for top billing.

But, at the end of the day, why do we make such an effort to put others to the test so unfairly? To deny the opportunities that are presented to us? Why do we find ourselves driven to shy away from what we want? Why do we make our own success so futile?

Do we take advantage of those moments because of the bigger and better deal?

Is it something else?

How may I help you in your journey of self-discovery?