What to Know When Dating a Coworker

Dating a coworker is a major office taboo—and for good reason. Mixing work and romance is often a recipe for disaster. It only takes one major falling out to cause one person to accuse the other of sexual harassment, have work grind to a screeching halt, or even get the company embroiled in a newsworthy scandal.

Even so, workplace romances are fairly common. According to one statistic we found, around 38 percent of all people have dated a co-worker at one point or another. Cosmopolitan put it even higher, citing around half of the overall working population copping to the act itself.

Of those people who ventured into the world of dating a coworker, around a third of people, have gotten married to the person they dated. So, with great risk comes the possibility of great reward.

So, if you're reading this, you're probably weighing the pros and cons of dating someone in your office. Here's what you need to know when dating a coworker.

It's a fireable offense in many companies.

If you've read a number of company handbooks, you'll probably notice that many of them have a clause against dating coworkers. This is because workplace relationships often end up having pretty serious consequences for both employees and the company as a whole if they break up.

You don't need to be a rocket scientist to see why this is the case. A bad breakup can cause drama in the office, which in turn may force managers to fire a top performer for one reason or another. Should one of the two dating workers turn against their now-ex, there's a possibility that they could end up getting a lawyer and suing the company for harassment.

In other words, it's often in the human resources department's best interest to forbid these kinds of liaisons. Before you choose to ask the hottie in the cubicle next to you for a date, read the employee handbook.

If it's really a major issue with HR, you may want to wait until you have another job lined up before you ask them out. And keep your cool if and when you do get fired, you knew this was coming.

HR reps who do allow workplace dating do have certain things they want to see happen if you choose to go this route.

Human resources managers are human, you know—and they understand that, sometimes, love happens. In many cases, if it's not a banned practice at work, people in HR will be okay with you dating your coworker as long as you end up doing things in a professional manner. Here's what they want to see:

• Be upfront and tell them that you want to ask out a coworker. Most people would want to be given a heads up that this is happening so that they don't end up having to do surprise damage control if things don't pan out.
• Keep your relationship and snuggly sides to yourself during work. At the end of the day, you might be dating your coworker—but they are still your coworker. Keep things professional, and don't bring up the fact that you're dating at work.
• If the coworker you want to date says no, drop the subject and don't cause drama. This is a good way to avoid serious repercussions in your career. Learn to back off appropriately, before you get called an office creep.
• Don't be the creepo who ends up asking every single coworker out. This is a great way to get fired for sexual harassment and making a workplace uncomfortable. Dating a coworker is risky already, and doing this will just alienate you from everyone.

Sleeping your way to the top is not a bright move.

Most bosses who would date a coworker will not "play favorites," lest they end up getting called pretty foul names or see their professional reputation ruined. If you do end up dating a coworker in hopes of getting a leg up in business, expect to be disappointed.

Doing this will ruin your legitimacy among professionals in your field, and if things end up getting broken off, then everything you worked for can disappear. No one wants to hire someone who made their entire professional career through their dating life; it's a lawsuit or a company scandal waiting to happen.

So, if you do choose to date a coworker, it's important to keep your professional achievements visible and on your own merit. If you don't, you may end up committing career suicide this way.

Certain professions seem to attract more coworker relationships than others.

Studies have shown that there are two different industry categories that tend to get people dating in the same company. The first one is hospitality, which can mean hotel workers, restauranteurs, and bartenders. This one, to a point, makes sense since they are social settings.

The other industry category, surprisingly, is the tech industry. IT workers, data workers, netsec workers, and telecom workers are all much more likely to date a coworker than the average person would be.

However, just because it's more common doesn't mean that it's more accepted or that it won't potentially cause problems. So, even so, you will have to err on the side of caution.

A large part of the success you can get with dating a coworker is based on the type of person you want to date.

The kind of person you want to pursue will have a huge impact on how well your office romance will go. It takes a high level of maturity, discretion, and social awareness to actually be able to date a coworker without raising a ruckus in most situations.

If you don't get the feeling that a coworker can be discreet, and follow the correct demeanor, or if you feel like they may end up being prone to drama in the event of a breakup, do not date them.

Really weigh the potential aftermath and get to know the coworker before you date them.

If you can't tell, there's a lot to lose in office romances. It's already been discussed in this article, so we're not going over it again. That being said, you do really need to think about this move before you do anything. Is it really worth it to you?

If you think so, you still need to take things slow. We all know people who are great acquaintances but terrible friends, or great friends but bad lovers. You do not want to risk it all for someone who can pull a Jekyll-Hyde style personality switch on you.

So, if you do think you want to make the leap from co-worker to couple, take your time. You never know what you'll find out if you wait a month or two before you ask them, first.