Three Little Words

There are many people who believe that the three most powerful words in the English language are “ I love you.” There was a time, to be sure when that may have been the case. When our parents said it, it was a lifetime commitment to each other (assuming the other person said it back and followed through.) It usually meant marriage and family. It meant supporting each other for a lifetime. Now it means getting a rose on a game show. Actually the rose may be bad, you’d have to watch the show to be sure and that, frankly, seems like to high a price to pay.

There used to be a game show called " Queen For A Day.” If you don’t remember it, it is understandable. It was a totally forgettable show on which all the contestants would try to be the most pathetic. The “Winner” would often have a story about how she had some awful disease and wrecked her car on the way to the hospital…and her dog died…and she hadn’t eaten anything for a week because she had no money for food.

At the end of the tale the audience would applaud her horrible life and if the applause meter went her way, she would win a refrigerator, presumably for her to keep the food that she couldn’t afford cold. For those who don’t remember, this is not made up. We really were that shallow and calloused in the fifties and sixties.

And TV has only gotten worse.

No, the three most powerful words are, “I don’t know.” One will never hear these three words in a sports bar or on cable TV. Think about it for a moment. The host asks one of their slanted and inane questions, and the guest, who has, shockingly just written a book of the subject, answers, “I don’t know.”

How refreshing would that be.

The host would probably sputter out some verbiage about why the guest should know the answer. After all, the subject is nuclear non-proliferation and you are the former assistant under-secretary of Transportation. Then they would cut to a commercial, (probably one of those irritating and omni-present Medicare Supplement things) and when they return, there would be a new guest, most likely another employee of the network who knows the rules.

It’s even worse in a sports bar, or any bar, for that matter. An important question comes up, most likely about who had the highest batting average in the Japanese major leagues in the 1970’s, and you say, “I don’t know.”

First of all someone would probably buy you a Shirley Temple and demand that you turn in your man card. But, in reality you have given them a great gift- the gift of superiority. For a fleeting moment you are simpleton who doesn’t know Japanese baseball. This makes others feel good about themselves. If this sounds ridiculous to you, you might want to stay out of sports bars.

In reality, “I don’t know,” is often a powerful way to win a debate. There was a radio talk show host named Michael Jackson (not that one) who, when a guest or caller said something foolish, would not argue. He used the phrase, “educate me.” This is another version of “I don’t know.” Then he would allow the clod to talk himself into a corner and never had to be confrontational.

Stupidity is understandable. Nobody knows everything. But in today’s world perceived ignorance can be power…if you know how to use it properly.

Come to the grandpa club.com. It’s good for a laugh.