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They Say to Write at a Sixth Grade Level

by Jason Provencio 2 months ago in social media / humor / how to / history
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Oh, I Can Do Better Than That

I can write like I’m in the 3rd grade. Challenge accepted. Photo: Wikimedia Commons

I just got done reading an article by a well-known writer in the community. With over 14,000 followers and well-written work, I was curious to see what his pinned article was all about. It mentioned gaining 25% more views if you write at a 6th-grade reading level.

It was certainly an interesting read. While I don’t doubt the truthfulness and accuracy of his article. I don’t think I could bring myself down to writing at a 6th-grade level. As much as I talk about wanting to really build my writer's following as quickly as possible, perhaps I should think it over.

That made me start to wonder how difficult it would be to actually accomplish this idea. And if writing at a 6th-grade level earned you 25% more views, would writing at a 3rd-grade level bring me 50% more views?

I have to know. It’s in my nature to be inquisitive and curious. I think I’ll write my autobiography to this point, but at a 3rd-grade level. I hope you enjoy it, tell me what you think after you read it. Thank you all! &:^)

My Biography, by Jason P.

Younger Jason, with his little brother on the left. Nice outfits, eh?

Hi. Welcome to my biography. It’s an auto-biography actually. That is when you write it yourself. Biography is when someone else writes it for you. Probably because you’re dead. It would make more sense to flip those names around.

Well, my name is Jason Scott Provencio. I am almost 48 years old. I never thought I’d live this long. That’s pretty old. I’m glad I have. I have an awesome family I like being around. They rock.

My wife is four years older than me and she’s really smart. She has a master's degree in counseling. She works in a big fancy office. She owns the counseling business she works at. She helps kids who are sad and have lost their feelings. She helps them find them again. That’s pretty cool.

My kids are almost 20, 18, and 17. They were only in 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grade when we met. Look at them now. They’re almost all adults. Time flies when you have kids. Eleven years together as a family has gone by quickly.

We have a dog named Libby. We call her Mooch, too. She’s a beggar. You can’t even enjoy a meal or a snack. She’s always trying to get some. She whines and sounds like a tea kettle. But she’s cute and we love her.

Libby is adorable. You can see how much I love her.

I was born in Tarzana, California. October of 1974. Yeah, Tarzana. Like Tarzan. I’ve been teased about that. Kids can be mean. My parents were both born on Friday the 13th. They named me Jason. Six years before the famous movie came out. That’s pretty weird and funny.

My Dad was a pastor for most of my childhood. We lived in a number of states. He pastored different churches. We moved around a lot but spent more of the time in Redding, California. We also lived in Oregon, Washington, and a bit later, Idaho.

Moving a lot kind of sucked. I never wanted to leave my friends. But I didn’t want my dad to feel bad. So I was nice about it. I didn’t enjoy conflict or confrontations as a kid. I still don’t enjoy them.

Moving a lot did help me make friends. I had to learn to be funny. I learned that I could make girls laugh. Then they’d let me talk to them. If you are funny and nice, they are too.

I had my IQ tested in 3rd grade. I guess 144 is a good score. I remember one question was, “Define ‘Mutiny’.” That’s not an easy one for a 3rd grader. But I’d seen that in a Dennis the Menace comic book.

Mr. Wilson had a problem with Dennis as usual. Something went crazy and he yelled, “WHAT IS THIS MUTINY?” I could define it and I explained that I got it from Dennis the Menace. The person giving me the test thought that was funny.

We were no strangers to U-Haul, as kids. Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

We moved to Idaho before 12th grade. I graduated and decided to work for a bit. Mostly in retail sales. Those weren’t the most fun jobs, but I was good at them. I got promoted and got a raise. Employee of the month. That’s me.

I met my first wife in 1996. We had our daughter Avery in 2005. We got divorced when she was two. We got married too young and weren’t that nice to each other. I’m glad we get along now though.

My daughter is awesome. She’s a senior in high school. She’s an empath and a kind-hearted person. She is also so funny. She’s got a sharp wit and she’s one of my best friends. I love that girl.

She’s a member of the LGBTQ community. She came out as a lesbian at age 13. We love her and her friends in the community. She stands up for good things. She is an active advocate for LGBTQ people. I couldn’t be more proud.

We met Mai, Kazden, and Kiera in 2011. I thought Mai was funny and hot when we met on Facebook. She laughed at my jokes. I thought she might like me. So we had a first date. She came over to watch a movie and we did stuff. I liked it and I think she did too.

I asked her what she was doing the next night. She said she had her kids. I told her I did too. I offered to come over and make them spaghetti. I like to cook. They liked spaghetti, especially Kazden. They thought it was spicy (it was).

He still loves his spaghetti. He’s showing us how many plates he’s going to eat.

We never spent another night apart after that. I know that’s kind of odd, but it’s true. We never wanted to be apart after hanging out twice. It’s still that way, 11 years later. They must have liked my cooking.

We have lots of fun. Our kids act pretty goofy. We probably taught them that. It’s a bit out of control and inappropriate often. We love it that way.

It’s been weird with Kazden away to college. He left home a month and a half ago. It’s not the same here without him. But he’s having the best time. He is up at the University of Idaho. I’m glad he’s doing so well up there. He’s getting good grades and having a great time.

Our daughter Kiera is so much fun. She’s an artist and is incredible at it. Just like her mom. Kiera also has done musical theater and improv. She also plays the violin. She’s a talented fine-arts performer. She had a 4.10 GPA when she graduated high school. She’s so smart.

She is going to a year of community college and living at home. She wants to go to U of I with her brother next fall. I think they’d have the best time together there. She wants to study medical illustration. She plans to get a master’s degree like her mom.

I’m proud of my family. They are proud of me, too. I’m a new writer here in 2022. I love to write blogs and articles. I use humor in my writing. I don’t like doing content writing because it’s boring. But I’ll do it some of the time. It can pay pretty well.

Being a writer is awesome. It’s for the thing I’ve enjoyed doing the most. It doesn’t even feel like work. I want to keep doing well and build a large following. I have 4400 followers so far. I also have 40 Top Writer awards. That’s pretty cool for only 10 months of writing.

Medium is my favorite place online. I love writing every day. And sharing it with my friends.

I also write on here on Vocal and Ko-fi. It’s good to publish your writing in more than one place. Why not have a few places to make money?

Besides my family, writing, and Mooch, I enjoy other things. I like gaming with my kids. I’ve played video games since Atari 2600. That was back in the early 80s. My kids and I like to play the Nintendo Switch. Those are fun times.

I like the gym when I have time to go. I’ve worked out most of my adult life. My Bride and I like watching NBA games. Basketball is our favorite sport. We enjoy relaxing together at home because we work a lot. Home is a happy place for us.

Well, that about does it. This explains my 48 years on Planet Earth. I hope I have 48 more to go. Halfway through would be neat. Hopefully, it’s not the last part of life. I worry about that sometimes.

I better go. I have things to do. I am visiting my parents today. Then I’ll do more writing. You guys are all cool. Thank you for reading this. I’ll read yours, too. Take care of yourselves. &:^)

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About the author

Jason Provencio

Husband, father, writer, and poet. I love blogging about family, politics, relationships, humor, and writing. Buy me a coffee?

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  • simeon simeonfgd2 months ago

    Tes or not

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