The Search

Where is it? This cannot be happening. I’m going to be late now too. Great. What if someone finds it before I do?

After 25 frantic minutes of turning her desk inside out and upside down, Jade has to temporarily abandon her search. Quickly kicking off her commute trainers and forcing her feet into the uncomfortable court shoes that are still new and pinching, with one arm she simultaneously scrapes the contents of her handbag from the table-top, back to where they belong. One final scan before she runs to the meeting room. Must water all those dying plants.

Trotting along the hallway, feeling in her pockets for a hair-tie, she settles for a paperclip and attempts to pin back some of the unruly curls from her face.

“Morning, Jade!”

“Hey!”, she calls, without even looking up. Hair sort-of in place, when her eye-line finally moves from her chest, past her aching feet, along the grainy-grey office carpet, to reach head-level again, she’s momentarily perplexed by her surroundings. Why are they all in gym gear?

Tumbling through the door, she exclaims her apologies, lands heavily on the available chair, and feels the instant relief on her feet - but the new burning of eyes on her face, which is now tingling red.

Settled now, she sweeps the circle to take stock of all the eyeballs fixated on her. Each pair wider and stonier than the last, she shrinks in her seat a little before darting back a few heads. What are you doing here? I haven’t seen you since school. What, you work here now?

The meeting begins but it doesn’t take long for Jade’s mind to wander elsewhere. To that little black book. Please, please, please be safe at home.

She starts retracing her steps. It was definitely missing by the time she got on the train. Soon after she had squeezed on and found a seat, she noticed the embarrassing paint splatters on her shoes and started raiding her bag for something to clean it off with.

That’s when she realised it wasn’t there in the side pocket inside her oversized bag. For the first of three times that morning, she pulled everything out of her sack and spilled it all onto the train table. Her tablet, wallet, lipsticks, tampons, pens, coins, receipts, cereal bars, individually wrapped tea bags - all sprawled out to the delight of the onlooking passengers. Did it fall out on the way out the door?

In the usual rushed fluster - juggling bags, coat, scarf, coffee cup, and keys as she tried to lock up her house with a slice of buttered toast hanging from her mouth - there’s a possibility it tumbled to the ground there. I hope Norman next door doesn’t pick it up.

“Jade. Ja-aade. Are you with us today?”

Back in the meeting room, her beady-eyed colleagues have morphed and multiplied into an even larger expectant audience. The back row squatting and doing lunges as they look on.

“Do you have a solution?”

As she gathers her thoughts, she accepts the water jug that’s being passed from her left and pours for herself. While she stumbles and mutters, she suddenly feels the water running off the table and into her lap. Where’s my glass gone?

Dabbing her blank note-paper across the flood, she feels her face prickly again and tries to sweep some of the water onto the floor.

“I’ll just...erm. Hold on. Sorry. Be right back.”

Scooping everything into her elbows, she launches the chair back with her behind and scuttles out of the room. Shoes still pinching and rubbing, she picks up the pace, first jogging, then running back to her desk with the sand-paper carpet rolling beneath her like an airport autowalk.

Her desk now in sight but overgrown with brown, decaying plant-life, she feels her big toe catch on the carpet. Elbows now released, she falls to the floor in slow motion, along with the raining contents of her arms and bag…

With a slight jolt and sharp intake of breath, she uncrumples her eyelids and draws the back of her hand across her mouth, noting the soft, smooth, leathery feel on her cheek.

Peeling the little black notebook from her face, she recovers her pen from the folds of the duvet and stretches her neck. A subtle smile of relief curls on her lips as she lifts the hair-tie from her bedside table. She piles her curls into a pineapple on top of her head, before pulling a robe over her shoulders and sliding some slippers onto her feet. She chuckles to herself slightly. Where did the lycra-clad colleagues come from? Bizarre.

While waiting for the kettle to boil, she settles down at the kitchen table, opens up her journal, and begins to write.

What a nightmare. I’m so glad that’s no longer my reality. Turns out being made redundant was the best thing that could have happened to me.

She flips back to the very beginning of the notebook and reads her first journal entry: Here we go. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Day One. Today I am grateful for…

The kettle clicks and sighs to bring her back to the present.

Day 244. Today I am grateful for...These slow mornings and this delicious coffee. The snowdrops and first signs of spring. For the amazing support I’ve had with the business, and to have found the confidence and courage to go for it. For this little journal, helping me put pen to paper, make plans, and find purpose.

Another smile of contentment lights up her eyes as she takes a final sip of coffee and pulls the laptop towards her to begin the business day. Tapping through emails and order notifications, her chest tightens with nerves and excitement as she reads the next subject line: Ignite with The Start-Up Hub.

She double clicks, shrieks with joy, and leaps into the air!

Dear Jade,

We are delighted to welcome you to The Start-Up Hub!

You have been selected for the Ignite program and awarded £20,000 to accelerate the growth of your business.

Please click the link below to find out your next steps. See you on the inside!

Her dressing gown lifts and swirls behind her as she slides across the kitchen floor and twirls around the table in complete elation. Pausing for breath, her hands fall from the air to meet her heart. She closes her eyes.

Thank You.