Starting A Personal Challenge

I'm Not Too Proud To Admit Things

I can admit that fear holds me back in my writing. From beginning a project to actually finishing one, I always find myself afraid to take the first and last steps. Fear of what, you may ask? Well, when I find out, I'll let you know. Rather than don the hat of the deep-thinking philosopher/therapist/inner monologue interpreter, I've instead decided to tackle my problem differently. Rather than wonder and ruminate on why I'm afraid, I'm switching gears to focus on moving forward despite the fear.

Why Does This Matter?

To you, probably nothing. To me, this serves as a way to get out of my head and overcome my personal fears so I can live the "writer's life" I've fantasized in my head. Writing is everything to me. It is the most raw and authentic way for me to express myself, move through my own thoughts, and create tales and poems that would otherwise not exist. It's my passion and profession. It's been my counselor, my confidant, and has helped me shape who I am and who I strive to be. So whenever I experience writing blocks or stop putting my work out there, it can be particularly devastating.

While I definitely have time in my day for writing, I go to cute cafes with my laptop just as I'd always imagined, and I definetly go on walks for inspiration. I do everything I've always imagined the writer in me would do. Except the actual writing...

Now, I have asked myself why writing is so tied to my identity, and that is also part of my personal growth journey. While I don't have a definitive answer (just some random strung together dots), staying in my head hasn't proved useful. So putting my efforts towards action is the new priority.

This challenge, which came to mind today, is for that purpose. Normally, I would take the whole month to try and make the "perfect" challenge. I'd do all the research and try to make it as comprehensive as possible. Then I'd proceed to either lose interest, get overwhelmed during the research phase, or forget about it. Then the next month would come and I'd do it all over again. A vicious cycle of my own design. In an effort to break that cycle (thanks Joe Dispenza) I've decided to just go for it.

What I Plan On Doing

I've decided (as I write this) that I'll stick to one thing so as not to overwhelm myself. The goal is to publish this project by July 1st.

I have a book I've been working on since last year. It is a collection of short stories and the most recent of my backlogged projects. I think it would be kind of fun to work my way backwards through the mountain of projects all the past versions of myself worked on. As well, as it is completed and has already undergone one round of professional edits, it's probably the closest one to being done anyway.

Accountability, Affirmations, & Such Things

I'm also not proud to admit that it is challenging to hold myself accountable with things that I personally want to do. A task for someone I love? No problem, I'll do it immediately. A task for me? Suddenly 3 seasons have gone by.

Exercising discipline and keeping myself accountable will be the keys to success here. So the plan is to dedicate at least 15minutes a day to the completion of this project. Posting my progress here and setting a daily phone reminder can help me track my progress as well as serve as anecdotal evidence for any "imposter syndrome" days.

My productivity affirmation: Consistent, small steps can make a big impact.

My feel good affirmation: I am a soft cinnamon roll of a person and it's okay to be gentle with myself.

The Game Plan for Today

I'm going to spend the first couple of days going through the comments my editor left. The original version had 5 stories but I've decided to cut it down to 3 stories based on her lovely feedback (her name's Julie and she's amazing). I've already printed everything and I have my assorted highlighters and posted notes raring to go!

Final Thoughts

Even though it's easy to be excited on the first day, I'm really very excited anyway. I'm just trying to figure things out and I'm going to try my best.

Warm regards,

Your Friendly, Voracious Scribe