Que sera sera

Dear sunflower,

life update: its been almost 15 days or more since I decided to bring a change in my life and to be honest it was tough to start from all over again just a like a child do like re- learning and un- learning a lot of things.

It may seem very basic and stupid if I say but I had to re-learn how to have an early meal cause since lockdown I went to intermittent fasting and every time I tried coming out of the trap i was trapped even more .

so, on wed 8/6/22 I finally just woke up one day at 6 and went to the nearby gym and took admission there and had my first ever breakfast since 2020.

Really it just took me one day to decide that I don't wanna live like this anymore . I am really happy in fact surprised that from did mustered so much courage to take a life saving decision I was literally dying 15 days back.

Now i just mock at my own self for not been able to get out of a situation it was so easy to.

And here I am sitting at my desk typing and having may favorite java plums of the season at 8:30 that my past self would have went furious over

The Idea of my title came from a song which I am currently addicted to -Que sera sera .............. whatever will be will be , the future 's not ours to see , Que sera sera .

Why am I addicted because just 15 days back I was so clueless not knowing will it workout or not but I just left it to the future and the future brought me here , to my happy place.

Its not like Its the only place I would like to be but at least I know what will be my starting point and again I leave it to the future.

23/6/22

Dear sunflower,

life update:

so, I went out for shopping yesterday Its been a while since I left my house I felt alive I was breathing again on a weekday it would have never been possible for Shireen Naaz to go out and just chill and not be afraid that what if someone offers me food. I just want to say that anything good is just one thought ,one decision away.

I was so stuck in the cycle of quasi change that I almost lost myself one time . The girl I used to be , the happy soul, I was desperately looking for her in every corner and nook .

Recovery is possible ,getting back your sanity is possible ,being you in this world full of artificial bars is possible just close your eyes and remember who you were just before this world manipulated you in being someone else . Even though I know this article may not be read by anyone but writing this sets me free.

But in hope I write that even one person reads my story and finds a will to live again I swear I will keep writing for all my life .

This phase in which I am right or maybe you are in , is a part of forever changing situations and circumstances but it should never stop oneself for being you and living your life to the fullest.

maybe that's why it takes me so long to write one article cause I myself still processing the reality of every moving object in my life.

At last I want to say stop suffering in silence Its not a sign of bravery and talking or writing it out is not a sign of cowardice .

You are heard and you are loved .

Que sera sera.