October Dust

This piece I posted in Journal and family because it really is a journal piece, a little astrology included but it’s more of a release from a hyper stressful month. October had no mercy.

Yesterday, in Office Depot, I sat in an amazing office chair they had on sale. I quickly forgot about the fold-up chair I use while I sit at my children’s ancient homework desk hunched over my computer. I’m thinking it’s about time for an upgrade. My back, aching and cramped, shuddered with delight the minute I sat in it.

October left me with a big job. I’ve spent the entire month, typing away on my computer, happily so, while still grieving for my mom. I shoveled gravel, lifted heavy furniture. I’ve taken care of super active children, run errands, dealt with painters, carpenters, electricians, and plumbers all by myself. And every day, I’m up at 4;30 to get some writing time in before the day starts.

My me time, writing time has saved me. I can’t believe after I left Vocal a month ago after my mom passed, upon returning my reads went from 215 to 311 as of last night. I’m grateful to all of you. Thank you.

Returning to hectic October, for me, it’s been a whopper roller coaster ride. My daughter, after a ten-year on and off relationship, married for only a year and a half is getting a divorce. She also has a twenty-month-old daughter. An adorable little girl.

One morning, while sitting in my living room I heard the front door open. There she was, here child in tow, laden with various backpacks brimming with articles of clothing and whatnots. Her eyes were red and swollen.

“I left him.” She announced.

I can’t say she surprised me. Suddenly, my peaceful morning shot out from under me and propelled me into a world of change and uncertainty. Not to mention that of my daughter. I cringed. Divorce raised its ugly head.

My husband, while extremely busy working at our guest ranch this month agreed with me over numerous phone calls to fix the apartment we owned for her and the baby immediately. The call to action to get them settled so they were comfortable and my daughter didn’t falter from her profession as a jewelry designer became my main priority.

When my built-in emergency gear kicked in, the apartment, which happens to be next door to the house she grew up in, slowly transformed into a healthy living space for the two of them. Between the apartment and my mom’s house, which I had already begun to make renovations on, had suddenly become a full-time job.

Last night, my daughter and her baby slept in their new apartment for the first time. My granddaughter has a thing for cats. She can’t speak yet but she calls them “Mow”, instead of “meow”. Well, now my cat has a second home. He has his food and water dish set outside their front door. All is well.

It’s possible some people wouldn’t approve of us jumping in to save her, but in this family that’s what we do. If someone is in trouble, without hesitation, we help. Now the rest is up to her.

I read somewhere, during the month of October, Mercury is in Retrograde, if you believe in such things. This occurs five times a year. January, February, June July, and October. It’s a time to access mental energy inward, rethinking whatever it is we’ve focused on over the past few months. The whole concept is daunting but this month Mercury is in Libra which focuses on relationships. Why certain people are in your life becomes clear. You may receive insights on relationships that are working, or not, and why. I posted a video about the Retrograde. It's extremely informative; if this interests you.

My daughter got the motherload of insight and I have to say it’s high time she did. For ten years she's lived with this guy, a good man, but with constant drama, disagreements, and crossed wires when it came to communication. They both agreed as a couple, they didn’t work.

On a positive note, I realized I’m slowly forming healthy relationships here on Vocal and I’m thrilled. Again, thank you all.

Last night, the flurry of October felt as if it finally settled. There is still more my daughter needs to deal with but it’s part of her development as a person. The relief I feel in knowing she and her baby are safe and comfortable is immense.

Tomorrow I’m leaving for three days to visit my son who lives east of Los Angeles. A nice little road trip and another opportunity to visit one of the many heroes in my life. He’s a mobile Equine Surgeon, drives 150 miles a day, and is mega busy. I actually had to make an appt with him for this visit so he could move his schedule around. We laughed about that. If he has calls to go on that’s fine. What’s important is spending time with my son.

As you already know, crap happens to everyone. It’s bound to sooner or later. As I said before I marvel at the Human spirit, its strength, and its durability. We don’t give up. We keep going with our scars which make us stronger. We may feel messed up inside but thanks to our friends, family, the jobs we love and the loving people who support us, we forge ahead.

We struggle sometimes but nobody has it all figured out. It’s our job to cheer each other on, lift each other up, and push each other to keep giving our best. It really does matter who we surround ourselves with.

Yesterday, an era closed for me. My back hurts like the dickens but no big deal. The dust has settled. And that office chair? I’m seriously thinking of going back to the store to buy it. Writing and interacting with all of you has helped me through a difficult time. Writing has saved me once again.

On we go…. Are you ready? Life awaits. Let’s see what we find around the next corner.